


Gamz Mudtû

by laugh2012



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad ass Dis/Bilbo Friendship, Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Second Chances, Seriosuly Dis is a mama bear protecting her hobbit cub, Thilbo Bagginsheild love, real love is messy but stronger for it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-11 12:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laugh2012/pseuds/laugh2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo is captured on his way home from to the shire after Thorin stands by his decision to banish him after the battle, while Dis is captured on her way to Erebor. Locked away together the pair fight for their escape forming a friendship stronger the any Dis has ever known. After their successful escape Dis flees with an injured Bilbo to the Lonely Mountain determined to get him help no matter the cost or her stubborn brothers opinion. </p><p>This is a story of heartache and regret, but it's also a story of the unbreakable strength of friendship, second chances, and a love that defied all odds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Before anything else I'd like to state this story idea was directly influenced by Blood Bonds, by ForTheJoy here on AO3. Please all of you take a moment to read it, even though it isn't complete it is definitely worth your time.
> 
> This story idea hit me hard and refused to let me go until I'd written it out. It's 4:30 am where I am and I'm exhausted so please excuse any mistakes, I tried to edit this work but I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to inform me of any you find and I'll be glad to fix them!
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

Horse hooves thundered across the ground, the large beast's breaths coming in short gasps, a thick white foam lined the edge of its lips. The bit slid forward in its mouth the reins held firm yet loose as the rider gave him his head urging him faster.

The rider bent low, thighs burning as they clenched tight against the saddle keeping not only herself but the limp body in front of her seated on the horse's back for hours. As the horse's chest heaved again the rider felt a wave of guilt at her treatment of her mount, she knew she was pushing the animal much past his limits but she had no other option available to her. They had barely escaped, even now they were being chased, hunted by their captors. She could not stop, could not let up for even a moment. So she squeezed her eyes shut and sent a frantic prayer to Mahal to give the horse beneath her enough strength to carry them to safety, and another to Yavanna to keep the limp body seated before alive. Opening her eyes she pressed her lips against the ear of her companion.

"Stay awake!" she ordered harshly, "Do not give up on me now dear one. We've fought to hard to make it this far I will not loose you!" she cried her voice thick with worry and tears.

Her breath caught in her at the back of her throat when the body before her gave no response.

  _No, not now, not when they were so close!_

"Please!", she pleaded desperately, "You swore to me in that vile place that you would not leave me alone! Stay with me _nadad_." her voice breaking, tears freely streaming down her bloody face.

"Can't die and let you have all the fun." came a broken wheeze, barely audible but she swore she had never heard anything more beautiful in her entire life.

A dry bark of laughter escaped her lips hope filling her chest once more; the mountain rose high before them the distance to their saftey quickly being eaten up by the horse's frantic gallop.

_We might just make it._

 

Thorin Oakenshield had many reasons to rejoice. He was Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain.

Against all odds his quest had been successful, once again a son of Druin sat on the throne of Erebor and it's halls we filled with those who had once called it home. Miraculously, the entire company that had followed him across the wilds of middle earth had managed to survive not only the journey but the bloody carnage that was now being called The Battle of Five Armies. Yes, Throin had many reasons to rejoice but countless more to regret. Even now the sounds of joy and cheer reached his ear as songs and laughter drifted down the stone corridor from the great hall where a mighty feast was being held in the honor of those they had lost the battle field on that horrid day, but he would not join them. 

To his subjects Thorin was everything a great King should be. He was strong, brave, fierce, kind, understanding, fair in his rulings and dealings with his people, and just in his punishments for those who deserved them. In him they saw their leader unbreakable and strong, something that couldn't be further from the truth. Thorin Oakenshield was broken and the only thing that could put him back together again was far away in green fields of the kindly west, banished from his side by his own hand. Bilbo Baggins was safely tucked away in his cozy hobbit hole, carrying on with his life, happy and far away from danger; far away from Thorin. He knew it was for the best, Bilbo deserved a happy life free of death, betrayal, and heartache which is all he would find by Thorin's side.

 Though he would like to say he sent the hobbit back to his Shire for his own good he could not. Even after the battle his mind had still been caught in the lingering effects of the gold sickness, clouding his mind from seeing reason leaving him to refuse to revoke Bilbo's banishment. Bile rose to the back of his throat as the image of his hobbit flashed before his eyes. Bilbo had stood at the edge of Thorin's cot his head heavily bandaged, leaning his weight on a short cane held in his right hand. Looking back Thorin could remember the bright red stain that bled through the white bandage but then the only thing he could see was a traitor.

Vile unforgivable words spewed from his mouth like a poison just as they had on the battlements, the only difference was this time Bilbo offered no apologies or defense, in fact he gave no reaction at all. As the last word fell from Thorin's lips Bilbo raised his eyes to meet the king's for just a moment before he slowly turned and hobbled form the tent, never looking back or raising his head from the ground.

It hadn't taken much for Thorin to come to his senses, a hard punch from Dwalin to the back of the head and two more delivered to his face by an irate Kili and Fil banished any remaining whisps of gold sickness from his mind. He quickly ordered the makeshift camp to be searched for their burglar but it had been to late. The mithril chain mail neatly folded on a small stool with an abandoned acorn laying nestled on top were the only things left behind, with Bilbo and Gandalf no where to be found. Throin openly wept when Dwalin roughly thrust the items into his chest, his fist curling around the acorn as he clutched it over his heart. He wept until his eyes were red and raw and his voice horse.

No one came to comfort the King Under the Mountain and he was glad for it, he deserved no comfort nor peace, death would have been a more merciful fate than the pain he felt in those moments, pain he still felt to this very day.

It had been eight months to the day since the epic battle fought in the shadow of the Lonely Mountain, hence the feast raging on in the great hall. Time crawled on and slowly the company returned to their king though their relationship forever changed. They supported him, stood by him, and offered him their strength but Thorin knew in their hearts they would never forgiven him for the treatment of their beloved friend. The change in his relationship with his nephews had been the most drasticly changed; Kili and Fili out right avoided any contact with Thorin only tolerating his presence for official business. Never speaking a word to their uncle unless forced and only then they kept it to one or two word answers. Thorin felt their loss as if someone had removed one of his limbs but he didn't push them. He had apologized to the entire company for his actions while lost in his madness, knowing he did not deserve their forgiveness and would not force himself on them.

Throin dipped his hand into the pocket of his great coat letting his fingers ghost across the smooth hardness of the acorn that lay hidden there, a sharp burst of pain bursts under his ribs as it always did we he thought of his beloved burglar. He let the pain wash over him clenching his fist by his side, this pain was his punishment. A punishment that was no where near severe enough but eagerly carried out, because when the pain came so did the memories, and any memory of Bilbo Baggins was worth the pain of a thousand deaths.

 

* * *

 

"We're here _nadad!_ We made it!" cried the rider pulling the exhausted horse to a halt.

Carefully she leaned back pulling the fully unconscious form against her chest, brushing back blood soaked locks from the much too pale face. 

"Open the gates!" she bellowed turning her face up to gaze at the guards on the battlements catching site of a familiar figure. "Dwalin open the damned gate!" she shouted sliding awkwardly down from the saddle, making sure not to jostle the battered form in her arms; a job made only more difficult by her burning muscles and rubbery legs. She ignored the answering shout and the commotion on the wall placing a soft kiss to a pale temple, burying her face into a matted tuft of hair. 

"Dis!" Dwalin called running through the barely open gate towards her. "By Mahal what happened? Are you hurt?" he questioned frantically as he closed the gap between them. "Get Oin!" he barked over his shoulder at one of the guards, his eyes scanning her face and body for any obvious injury only to let out a strangled gasp as he took in the body in her arms.

"Is that..." he breathed unable to voice the rest of his thought, praying that his eyes were deceiving him.

Dis growled clutching the body tighter against her stumbling back two steps just out of Dwalin's reach.

 "He needs to be taken to Oin!" she snapped wishing that she could reach the dagger she'd stolen and hidden in her sturdy boot, "You will take me to Oin or I will have your beard!" she ordered raising he shoulders and lifting her head in determination.

Dwalin could do nothing but nod his understanding unable to speak, his eyes locked on the on the broken form of Bilbo Baggins. What in Mahal's name had happened? The Warrior stepped forward arms reaching for the hobbit only to have Dis back peddle further away from him.

"You will not touch him." she seethed some how managing to pull Bilbo deeper into her embrace, turning her body so that he was partially hidden  from view.

"Take. Me. To. Oin."  she demanded through clenched teeth, each word lined with the weight of a direct order and the heat of a threat. Dwalin nodded his head sharply turning on his heel, making his way into the moutain with the princess only a step behind.

No words were exchanged between the pair and Dis for once was thankful for Dwalin's lead tongue as the quickly made their way down the long hallways the led to the infirmary. Dwalin easily pushed open the large door that led to one of the empty medical rooms as Dis rushed past him gently laying Bilbo down on the soft cot on the other side of the room. She blinked back tears coming to sit next to the hobbits head running a trembling hand across his cheek her breath rattling in her chest, completely oblivious to Dwalin standing at the foot of the bed his normally blank face twisted into a look of horror.

The door opened again with a loud bang as Oin rushed into the room wasting no time in coming to stand before the Dwarven princess quickly cupping her face to scan her for injuries.

"I'm not hurt-see to him!" she snapped sharply pulling Oin's hands from her face.

Oin looked to his right with a gasp, his knees bucking slightly forcing him to brace himself by putting both hands on the edge of the cot as he took in the lifeless form before him. He push away his shock and forced himself to focus, a healer was only as good as his mind, he could not let his emotions keep him from doing his job. His eyes and hands methodically scanned over the hobbits body listing injuries as he found them.

_Large contusion on the jaw, swelling above right eye socket, gash to bottom lip, three broken knuckles on right hand, two on left, gash on palm of left hand, swollen circular cuts around the entire wrist, minor scrapes on both calves, circular cuts on ankle as well._

"Help me undress him, leave the small clothes on." he ordered Dis, who quickly lifted Bilbo under the shoulders allowing Oin to skillfully remove his shirt over his head, "Fill the basin on the table with water, on the stand to  your left is a large bottle with a green label bring both to me then go get the washing cloths from the wooden cabinet behind you." the healer dictated to Dwalin as he gently freed Bilbo's legs from his trousers.

If Oin had been relieved by the lack of major injuries to his young friend it vanished the moment he took in his undressed form.

"Och laddie." he breathed stealing a glance at Dis who had gone back to gently rubbing her hand over the unconscious hobbits face.

 _Two inch gash on inner left thigh along with minor bruising, stab wound on top right thigh-half of an inch wide- less than two inches deep beginging signs of infection, large gash on left side - four inches long-less than an inch deep, two cracked ribs along with substantial bruising across the chest, large burns on both sides and chest_.

"Do you know of any injuries on his back?" the healer questioned never taking his eyes or hands from his work.

Dis swallowed hard dragging a deep breath through her nose, "They whipped him." she managed around the lump in her throat.

"Who!" roared Dwalin placing the water basin on the small table located at Oin's elbow his hard eyes locking on to Dis' s face.

The princess's head snapped to the right leveling Dwalin with a fiery glare her mouth firmly shut.

"I will know who did this to him." the warrior growled his massive fists at his side, his body strung tight as a bow.

"You will know nothing." she retorted never dropping her gaze even as Dwalin stepped forward angrily.

"Now see here-"

"Enough!" roared Oin his voice bouncing off of the stone walls of the chamber, "now is not the time or place, the only important thing at this moment is attending to Master Baggins!" 

Dwalin's mouth shut with an audible snap but his eyes and hard mouth promised that the conversation was far from over. Oin ignored the mounting tension in the room, focused solely on the task before him. As gently as possible he cleaned all of the wounds that littered the front of Bilbo's body before wiping them down with an orange liquid that would help stave off infection, laying a thick adhesive cloth or each wound.

"Make yourself usefull and help me turn him over." Oin barked at the pair of dwarves who were still glaring daggers at one another.

As gently as possible the trio moved Bilbo so he was laying flat on his stomach allowing his back to be fully viewed. Dwalin let out a violent slew of curses in Khuzdûl and Westeron throwing his hands in the air as he began stalking back and forth across the room no longer able to stand still.

They hadn't just whipped their burglar, whoever they were, they completely shredded his back. There didn't look to be a single piece of skin left untouched, nasty slashes riddled the expanse from his shoulders to slightly below his pants line.

Dwalin was a warrior used to the sight of carnage and blood, he'd seen his friends fall to a foes before his very eyes but that didn't stop his stomach from doing somersaults at the sight before him. The little broken body of his friend. He knew Bilbo was strong, hell the hobbit had proved just how strong he was over and over again through out their quest, always shattering the the limits the company put on him. Dwalin was a private dwarf, he didn't need to surround himself with friends or company, preferring to keep those around him at arms length but somehow this little hobbit had managed to bury his way into his heart. Now looking down at his broken body the only sign of life the faint rise and fall of his chest, Dwalin realized just how much he had failed his friend.

The door swung open for a third time thankfully with a little less force than when Oin entered keeping it from slamming against the wall, as a very worried Thorin burst into the chambers.

"Dis what in Druin's name happened?" he asked his eyes flitting over her widening at the amount of blood on her face and front. "You're hurt!" he exclaimed rushing towards her only to be sent stumbling backwards by her fist connecting hard with his face.

"What was that f-" he started only to stop mid stride as his eye took in the movement behind his sisters towering body, it looked like Oin was working on a second patient. "Who is that?" he asked taking a step forward only to be blocked by his very furious sister. 

"Get out." she said her voice low and filled with ice causing Thorin's eyebrows to dissappear into his hair line.

"Dis did you hit you head, are you alright?" he asked again leaning forward slightly to check her pupils, "Oin come check over Dis." the king called becoming increasingly worried for the mental state of his sister as she continued to send a furious look his way

"A little busy at the moment your majesty." Oin grumbled sharply only increasing Thorin's curiosity of what exactly was going on beyond his sight.

Dis seeing where here brothers gaze was wandering stepped forward pulling back her shoulders blocking Bilbo entirely from his view. Thorin had banished Bilbo from the mountain but if he so much raised a hand in the hobbits direction she would not hesitate to drop the king where he stood,  Dwalin be damned.

 _"Amad!"_ came two unison cries as her son's sprinted into the room her eyes blurring with tears tor the hundredth time today. Her chest bloomed at the site of both of them alive and healthy. Bilbo had told her both of her sons had managed to survive not only the journey but the battle as well but part of her heart hadn't believed it until this very moment. Her eyes ghosted over Gloin and Dori who followed behind Kili and Fili before returning her gaze to her sons.

Thorin used Dis' s moment of distraction to dart around her coming face to face with an image pulled straight from his worst nightmares, there before him lay the broken body of Bilbo Baggins. Thorin's limbs locked in place his entire body trembling in a mix of shock, horror, and rage. His mind refused to believe the sight before his eyes, this couldn't be Bilbo, he was safe in the Shire.

"Is that..." his voice trailed off unable to ask the question terrified of the answer he would receive. His arm moved forward on its own accord slowly reaching out to run his hands over the bloody blond curls. 

Throin's movement snapped Dis from her daze spurring her into to action. She spun in a flash, clasping Thorin's outstretched arms between both of her strong hands bracing her feet and using her weight to fling him around her front and crashing to the floor behind her. 

"You will not touch him!" she roared advancing on her brother who sat shocked on the ground, his eyes still locked on the unconscious form behind her. 

Everyone froze starring at the sight of the furious Druin princess looking every inch of the warrior that she was, except for Oin who continued muttering cures under his breath while trying to stem the bleeding from Bilbo's wounds. Dis's chest heaved her hands trembling in rage as she tried to push the ringing from her ears. Thorin surged to his feet coming back to his senses and rushed towards the bed only to be shoved hard in the chest with enough force to send him flying back a few feet landing on the ground in another heap.

"I said you will not touch him!" she screamed her eyes wide and frantic surging forward, towards Thorin, refusing to allow him any closer to the bed. 

"What is he doing here?" Thorin thundered praying that his eyes had deceived him and that was not his burglar laying bloody on the cot.

Dis's only response was to growl low in her throat baring her teeth as she crouched into a defensive stance ready to tackle Thorin to the ground should he try to get past her again. It was only then the the rest of the dwarves tore their eyes away from the Druin siblings long enough to take in the rush of movement behind them.

"No!"

"Bilbo!" her son's cried borkenly as they stumbled towards Oin, Dori and Gloin grasping each other as if to keep the other standing upright.

" _Amad_ what happened to him!" Kili called frantically clutching his mother's arm. 

Dis shook off her son's hold, keeping her gaze locked on Thorin ignoring the questions that were now being thrown at her from all sides. Thorin rose to his feet stalking towards his sister with one purpose in mind, getting to his beloved hobbits side.

"Step aside Dis." he ordered in a voice that would have sent a shiver of fear down even his strongest enemies but his sister remained unmoved, rising her chin defiantly. 

"No." she threw back with as much ice as Thorin.

Thorin spurred forward to dashing swiftly to her left just out of arms reach but Dis was prepared, throwing her body forward with as much force as she could mange tackling her brother to the gorund. 

"Get off of me!" Thorin bellowed rolling onto his back trying to pry his sister off him.

"I WILL NOT LET YOU HURT HIM AGAIN!" she screeched landing a hard punch to his jaw that sent his head crashing back against the floor. The siblings wrestled on the ground as Dori and Gloin grabbed Kili and Fili struggling to keep the young princes out of the fight, while they tried to frantically break the older dwarves grip. 

Throin braced his weight pulling his body to the left, rolling Dis beneath him, pinning her hands to the side as she fought widely to gain the upper hand.

"Dis stop this!" he shouted trying to break through her rage.

"Dis!" came a broken shout from behind them. 

"Don't hurt her!" Bilbo cried as he struggled to push himself off of the cot, "Take me instead just let her go!" he howled struggling against Oin.

"Don't move lad you'll only make it worse." Oin ordered as he tried to keep Bilbo on the cot with as little force possible, only to receive a sharp elbow to the face for his efforts.

"Bilbo!" Dis cried hoping to still the hobbit but her voice only caused him to fight harder, a painful cry bursting from him as he tried to swing his legs off of the cot.

"I said let her go!" he screamed his eyes wild and unseeing as he struggled furiously with whoever held his arms. Bilbo didn't know where he was, all he knew was Dis was in trouble and needed his help.

Bilbo's scream of pain cut through her like a knife, shoving her knee hard into her brothers groin she pushed herself to her feet sprinting to the hobbits side. 

"Easy Bilbo, stop struggling." she whispered cupping his face in her shaking hands.

"Dis!" 

"Shush, I'm here _gamz mudtû,_ I'm here. We're safe." she reassured him softly running her thumbs over his battered face.

"You're safe?" Bilbo whispered leaning his face into her touch.

Dis's heart bled at his words, 'you're safe' he asked not a single care for himself, damn her brother for making Bilbo think his life was worth so little. 

"I'm safe, _you_ made sure I was safe." she choked out cradling Bilbo's head against her chest, as the hobbit slowly reached his arms up to embrace her back wincing at the movement.

"You need to lay down _gamz mudtû._ " she whispered into his hair gently guiding him back down on his stomach but Bilbo on tightened his grip halting her movements.

"Don't go!" he pleaded clutching to her like his life depended on it.

"No dear one, I'm not going anywhere." she soothed easing herself up on to the cot in a sitting position guiding Bilbo down into her lap.

"Good." he sighed leaning his head into her hand as she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

No one moved as they all stood breathless watching the scene unfold before them; Kili and Fili had both gone limp in Dori and Gloin's arms reaching out to pull each other close. Dori and Gloin both relinquished their hold on the young princes as the boys embraced each other. Dwalin stood with his back stiff hovering just to the right of Oin, while Thorin sat dumbfounded on the floor his mouth hanging open. Even Oin remained still as the princess cradled Bilbo in her arms.

"I'm tired Dis." Bilbo mumbled moving his hand to grasp the hand Dis had rested on his shoulder.

"I know you are but I need you to stay awake, can you do that for me?" Blibo hummed in response squeezing her hand tighter.

"I can see the Shire." he breathed and Dis let out a strangled sob, "The grass is green and lush, a light summer breeze drifts over the hill. Drogo's birthday is this week which means everyone will be gathering around the party tree to celebrate. Food, drink, family, and friends all gathered together under the light of the stars, I wish you could see it."

"I will see it. You promised to take me to the Midsummer Festival next year remember? You're going to teach me how to make your famous apple turnovers and we are going to dance and drink until the sun rises high over Bag End." her voice cracked but she pushed the words past the lump in her throat tears dripping into his long curls.

"A Baggins on the arm of a princess, poor Lobelia would have a heart attack." his chuckle quickly turned into a wheezing cough.

 "That dirty Sackville-Baggins won't give you any more trouble after I'm done with her."

"I wish I could be there to see it, do me a favor and make sure she doesn't sneak off with my mother's silverware once I'm gone." he smiled wistfully.

"Oh no, you're going to be there to see it because your not going anywhere Bilbo Baggins do you hear me? You promised not to leave me alone and a Baggins never goes back on his promises"she said clutching onto Bilbo tighter oblivious to everyone else around them.

"It appears I'm doomed to fail the entire Druin line."

"No!" Dis rasped curling her body so her forehead was pressed against the top of Bilbo's curls, "You have failed no one _gamz mudtû,_ it is my line that has failed you. You are strong Bilbo and I need you to fight. Do not give up when you have come so far." she sobbed.

Blibo released her hand lifting it towards he face only to have his arm give out and crash towards the cot before Dis caught it holding his palm against her cheek. Bilbo traced a thumb along her jaw finding it wet with tears.

"Do not cry, not for me. The princess of Erebor crying over the loss of a worthless halfing, what would you brother say." he tsked softly.

"My bother is a fool!" she cursed tightening her grip on his hand.

"Don't say that. Thorin was right about me; I'm nothing, nothing but a worthless thief." his voice grew weaker with every word that passed his lips and Bilbo knew he was almost out of time. He did not fear death, in fact he would happily embrace the darkness when it came for him now that Dis was safe. There was nothing left for him in the land of the living but in death he would be free to walk the garden of Yavanna and that sounded much better than living out the rest of his days outcast from those he loved before dying bitter and alone in Bag End. No, there was nothing left to keep him here and the darkness couldn't come soon enough.

"I am glad to have met you Dis daughter of Thrain, and I am glad you are here with me at the end." he whispered his voice heavy with sleep, his time was almost done.

"This is not the end!" Dis cried rocking him back and forth, "Don't give up on me _gamz mudtû._ You are needed here, you are loved, do not go. Y - you swore you wouldn't leave!" she wailed tears blinding her as she pressed clutched Bilbo tight as if her grip alone would be enough to hold him here in the land of the living.

"I'm sorry." he breathed before the darkness swallowed him whole.

"No!" Dis screamed as mighty breath left his lungs and his chest stilled, "No, no, no, no, no." she sob frantically. 

Oin moved then, shoving Bilbo roughly onto his back his hands over the hobbits heart pumping it for him. 

"I'm not letting you go that easy laddie, if you won't fight to keep it moving I'll do it for you." he swore before placing his mouth over the hobbits pushing air into his lungs, repeating the process. 

Kili and Fili crashed to the ground sobs shaking their hunched frames as they buried their faces in each others chests. Dori stumbled backwards into Gloin who barely managed to keep them both on their feet tears openly falling from both of their eyes. Dwalin sunk slowly to the ground is head hanging between his knees, as his fists beat mercilessly against the cold stone floor. Thorin's world was shattered, his ears were ringing as if he had taken a massive blow to the head, his vision blurred as he fought to pull air into his burning lungs.

Bilbo Baggins was dead and it was entirely his fault.

 Scrambling to his feet he stumbled  from the room, blindly running until he fell face first into his chambers where he proceed to expelled everything from his stomach before promptly passing out where he lay.

 

 

 


	2. The Truth Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis divulges the story of their capture to the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 and this chapter were supposed to be uploaded as one large chapter but for some reason my sleep deprived mind couldn't make it work. So here's a freebie for you!

Thorin woke with blurry eyes and a pounding head on top of the covers of his large bed. Slowly he reached up running his hand over a large lump on the back of his skull with a hiss.

What happened?

Just then the memory of this morning slammed into to him with the force of a rock slide. A broken cry escaped his lips as bile clawed a burning path up the back of his throat. Suddenly cup of water was being held against his lips as an order to drink registered in his ears. Thorin greedily sucked down the cool liquid like a man dying of thirst.

"Easy lad, deep breaths." the voice ordered again .

Slowly Thorin turned focusing on the white bearded figure. Another sob racked his body and Balin reached forward to embrace his young king with a heavy heart.

"Deep breaths Thorin, I need you to calm down we have much to discuss." 

Throin fisted his hands in the back of Balin's robes like a dwarfling clutching it's mother, focusing on controlling his breaths. Time passed, though Thorin was not aware how much, before he was finally able to detach himself from his old mentor. Balin stayed silent waiting for Thorin's eyes to clear and focus on him before speaking.

"He lives." he stated simply and firmly, ignoring Thorin's sputtered questions and muted tears only moving again to force the king back onto his bed when he tried to get up.

"I need to see him Balin." Throin pleaded but Balin remained unmoved, his heavy stare holding Thorin in place.

"Oin managed to bring Blibo back from the brink of death but he is still unstable. Oin is refusing to let anyone but your sister by his side and I agree with him, the last thing Bilbo needs is to be surrounded by those who have done him wrong." the old dwarf said his eyes sad and full of guilt, a guilt Thorin felt to the core of his very soul.

"The company is holding vigil in the connecting chamber, you're sister has agreed to divulge the events that led to Master Baggins's grievous injuries, we only await your arrival." he finished giving Thorin a pointed look.

Thorin wasted no time before springing from the bed and stalking out of his bed chamber into the sitting room beyond.

"Thorin!" Balin called causing the king to halt long enough to turn and look at him, "You might want to change your shirt I may have put you into bed but I wasn't stripping you of your soiled gamrents."he said giving him a sad smirk.

 

 

_Dis landed hard against the stone floor of the make shift cell, rolling across it's width with the extra momentum of the throw crashing into the wall. She lept to her feet charging towards her captor only have cold iron bars slammed into her face as they closed. With a quick twist of his wrist her captor locked the cell sneering triumphantly in her direction._

_"Don't worry your highness, we have big plans for you and your pretty little body." he leered licking his lips._

_"Wouldn't do that if I were you." came a light voice form the shadows, the speaker hidden from her view._

_"Whys that?" he captor questioned mockingly._

_"I don't know how much you know about the King Under the Mountain but the only thing he cares about more than gold is the legacy of his line. If you so much as hint to the fact that his sister was used in such a way he wouldn't think twice before casting her from his house and any hope of ransom you have would be for nothing." the voice spit with heat._

_His argument must have hit home because the grizzled man left with a curse and a kick to the bars. Dis narrowed her eyes allowing them to adjust to the darkness of the cave making out a small hunched form on the opposite wall very close to where she had rolled moments before._

_"I suppose you're expecting a thank you but you won't be getting one from me." she spat at the figure, "You know nothing of my brother, speak of him again that way and I'll gut you."_

_Dis had made many men, dwarves, and even rarely and elf or two tremble in fear when she threatened them so the loud laughter that followed her threat was quite the shock. She was even more surprised when a small creature emerged from the shadows wiping tears from his eyes._

_"I guess you're more like Thorin than I thought." he chuckled to himself, "Blibo Baggins at your service," he greeted bowing low._

_"I must say the resemblance is almost uncanny though I can see Fili has your eyes." he smiled rolling back on his heels._

_"You know my son?"_

_"I know both of your sons and your brother, I was part of his company."_

_"So you helped reclaim the mountain?" she asked stepping forward._

_"I was more of a burden than anything but I tried my best." he answered his eyes suddenly very interested in the cavern floor._

_"My sons how are they?"_

_"Don't worry Lady Dis, both of your son's survived the battle, they both sustained some injuries of course, but Oin said that they would make a full recovery in no time at all." he smiled again._

_"Battle! What Battle?" she demanded noticing the way the creatures eyes widened his overly large feet shuffling back and forth._

_"You aren't aware of the Battle of Five Armies?" he asked meekly._

_"F-five Armies? Just what ridiculous nonsense has my brother gotten himself into this time?" she asked sliding down the cave wall._

_"Come sit Master Boggins, was it, I fear we have much to discuss." she ordered patting the spot on the ground next to her._

_"It's Baggins actually, though Kili was determined to call me Boggins for over two months." he chuckled taking a seat directly to her right, Dis smiled despite herself, the happy smile of this little creature appeared to be contagious._

_"Start at the beginning Master Baggins, leave nothing out I will know if you bend the truth and hound you until you reveal it to me." surprised by how teasing her tone sounded, she had been trying to come off hard and demanding._

_"Your sons were very descriptive when discussing your methods and I'm quite fond of my ears so I promise to hold nothing back." he chuckled again._

_"It all began on a very normal morning by any hobbit's measure, I was sitting on my front bench smoking a pipe....."_

 

"M ' lady." Oin called quietly from his spot near the end of Bilbo's bed bringing her back to the present.

"It's just Dis, Oin; I'm sorry I was lost in my head what did you say?"

Oin sent her an understanding look, the entire company seemed to be lost in their own  heads as of late, and for good reason.

"Only that if your ready everyone had gathered and wish to hear all you can tell us about how Master Baggins came to be in this state."

Dis nodded once leaning down to press a soft kiss to Bilbo's sweaty forehead, though Oin managed to get this heart pumping again the fever had set in faster than they had expected.

"I will be right back." she whispered before standing.

Oin was barking orders at his best healers, threatening them with in an inch of their life should they fail to take proper care of their charge. He had refused to attend the meeting at first stating that he could not possibly leave the burglar's side but he eventually changed his mind. He had to know what happened to the young hobbit and no second hand explanation would do, so after a few more imaginative threats he followed Lady Dis into the room that housed their very solemn company. 

Dis squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before sweeping into the room her eyes taking in each dwarf that had gathered there.

All of them sat close together, each touching another in some small way, linked together like chain mail. Their eyes were red and swollen as they all straightened, turning their attention towards her, never relinquishing their grip on each other. It took her a moment to notice that there was another figure hunched low in a chair, hidden back in the corner and her mouth turned down into a fierce frown.

"What are you doing here." she spat.

"I came to hear what happened to Bil-" 

"Don't you dare say his name!" Dis thundered cutting of her brothers words, "You are not worthy to call him by his name nor do you deserve to hear what I have to say." she finished hotly.

Thorin for his part did not look as if he would argue her insults, instead it seemed as if he agreed with them by the way his shoulders hunched a little further. Though he did not argue neither did he move to stand or leave and the two siblings stared fiercely at one another, neither wanting to be the one to back down first.

"Lady Dis, I don't really know if any of us truly deserve to hear what you have to say. We failed him, we failed him in every way possible and that's something I will never forgive myself for but Bilbo was...is the best friend I've ever had. I know that I don't deserve his friendship or his forgiveness but I need to know what happened to him." Bofur sniffed.

Dis lept her gaze locked on her brother even as she listened to Bofur's heartfelt words.

"I will beg you if that's what you want!" the toy maker pleaded, "I will get on my knees in front of the entire kingdom and beg if that what if takes, just please, please tell me what happened to my friend." Bofur's voice breaking on the word friend. 

It was the honest heartbreak in his plea that caused Dis to turn away from her brother and face the rest of the company. She found that Bofur was already half way to his knees preparing to beg as he stated with hot tears streaming from his eyes. 

She stepped forward pulling the toy maker toy maker to his feet, "I will tell you what I know but you will not like what you hear." she informed him honestly.

"We have to know amad." Kili whispered determinedly from his place sandwiched between his brother and Dwalin.

"I will tell you but I ask that none of you ask any questions or interrupt me, this story will be hard enough to tell as it is and if I stop I am not sure I will be strong enough to continue." she explained ignoring the way a few of the dwarves paled at her words; once they all agreed she began her tale.

"Four moths ago my envoy was attacked on the road west of the Misty Mountains, we were greatly out numbered and my men were slain. I was taken captive, hands bound by a large man with a long scar over his left eye. I fought him of course but it was no use he was as strong as the mountain he led me into. He lifted me from the ground and threw me into a stone cell. I charged him but he locked the iron bars before I could make it to the other side of the small cave, he threatened me then. Not with threats of beatings  but of a promise of something every woman fears." she paused deftly ignoring her son's eyes as they whimpered at her implication.

"That's when Blibo spoke up, he told the man that the only thing Thorin cared more about than gold was the legacy of his line. He warned that if any of them harmed me he would sooner cast me out of his house than pay a ransom."

"It worked, the man left angry and alone but I was furious; who would dare speak in such a way about my brother?  I didn't realize it until much later that with one sentence Bilbo saved me. In seconds after hearing the mountain, as we began to call the man, threaten me he made it so not a single member of the entire camp would consider violating me in the way they'd promised. He introduced himself as a former member of your company and told me of your journey and the foll,owing battle. Though he insisted that he had been nothing but a burden to all of you I knew better, how was it possible that someone so kind, clever and brave could be...how did he phrase it, dead weight." she huffed swallowing hard to contain the stream of insults she wished to lay at all of their feet on Bilbo's behalf.

"Everyday they would come and drag him away, and after one incident which led to my being beaten as I tried to stop them he quit fighting; going with them willingly even though he knew exactly what awaited him."

"They knew who he was when they captured him the previous month, they knew he had been part of the company that had reclaimed the Lonely Mountain and hoped to use him to gain information that could be used to remove Thorin from the throne. Everyday they would take him away for questioning and everyday he would be tossed back into the cell unconscious and bloody. Through it all his only concern was for my safety and well being. He said his injuries were worth it if they left me alone. He spoke of all of you and of his home back in the Shire just as I shared stories of my life with him. It should come as no to surprise to any of you, or maybe it will given your treatment of him, but it did not take long for him to lay a strong claim on my heart." 

More than one of the dwarves winced at her words but she ignored them, let them feel the guilt they were due for their mistreatment of him.

"Three months passed that way before our captors became restless with Bilbo's lack of cooperation and they turned their eyes on me. They came in the middle of the night while we were sleeping. Blibo and I fought them viciously trying to keep a grip on each other but there were too many. We we're both dragged over the sharp stone and tied to two posts. Four of them started beating him relentlessly as I watched on in horror, they would stop long enough to shout out a question only to resume with more vigor when he gave no answer. It was only after one of them struck me hard across the face that he gave in to their demands." She gulped her face paling slightly as her fingers twisted into the hem of her shirt.

"He told them he had the Arkenstone, that he'd stolen back from Bard the Bowman before leaving the mountain. He said he buried it in a thick grove of pines three days ride from the elven pass of Mirkwood to hide it from the wizard. They locked us back in our cell and do you know what he did then?" she asked bitterly.

"He crawled over to me and began tending to my face, as if he wasn't covered in gashes and bruises himself! He couldn't even stand on his own legs but his only concern was for me, he didn't think himself worthly of comfort. That was the moment I swore to myself that I would never leave him to be alone again."

"Three days later they moved us, chaining us to the floor of a covered wagon. They attached metal collar around each of our necks as if we we're dogs, our hands and feet were cuffed and connected by a heavy chain that ran from my neck trough a loop on my hands to an identical one at my feet leading back up the same way to Bilbo's collar." She explained moving her shaking hands to mime the way the chain had held them.

"The chain was too short for us to sit comfortably, when one of us would move it would cause the metal to bite into the skin of the other. Of course Bilbo tried sit in a way that allowed me to move freely without harm but by then I'd had enough, and after a lot of arguing I finally convinced him to lay in a way that would cause him less injury.  So we lay there chained together to the floor like animals and planned for the future. Little things that would seem odd to others like a dwarf visiting the party tree, learning how to plant tomatoes, and bake apple turnovers." she paused then and closed her eyes remembering the way that Bilbo had smiled when he spoke of his home even as his world was falling apart.

"Thanks to Bilbo's  quick thinking while we were tied to the posts we had three weeks of hard traveling with out any beatings but all good things come to an end. Too soon we arrived at the area where Bilbo had told them he hid the Arkenstone and they began to search. After the first day brought no results they decided that they would take him with him the next morning to show them exactly where he buried it. Some how he managed to stall them for an entire day with his wit and silver tongue, assuring them that they were on the right track. The next day they caught on to his lie and punished him severely for it." Dis sucked a sharp breath through her nose for strength, the next part of the story was the worst so she braced her self and stilled her trembling hands. Bilbo deserved for them to know of his strength and bravery and they deserved to hear of the horrors that he endured because of them.

"They dragged him back to camp by his hair kicking him the entire way, then they bound his hands together with a rope and strung him up a tree,  high enough that his feet couldn't touch the ground. They came for me then so I could watch as they tortured him. They whipped him. Each man took turns slicing into his flesh with the whip until his back was one open wound. I swear to you all that I tried to get to him but I was still bound in my chains. I will never forget the sound of that whip ripping open the skin on his back or the cheers and taunts from the men as they carried out their deed." Dis swiped angrily at the tears on her cheeks her eyes stinging as more poured from her eyes.

"He didn't scream as their blows landed, not once. Not even when they cut him down from the tree and he landed in a crumbled heap on the ground or when they flipped him onto to his mangled back and dragged him back to the wagon to be chained. I thought-I thought he was dead when they chained us together, he just laid there broken and bleeding. I tried to tend to his wounds as best as I could but each time I moved his cuffs cut into his ankles and wrists. I've never felt so useless in my entire life, not even when the dragon came." she was openly sobbing now unsure if her words were even able to be in stood through her rasping breaths.

"That night they drank themselves into an angry stupor all of them convinced I was no threat and Bilbo on the brink of death. There was no need for any of them to abstain from their cups when their captives had no hope to escape but they were wrong. Even fighting in the edge of consciousness his body raw and bleeding Bilbo managed to save us." She spoke proudly.

"When they lifted him back into the wagon to be chained he managed to swipe the second set of keys From the guard, hiding them in the gore beneath him. After all of our captors had passed out across the camp Bilbo unlocked my chains. He told me to take one of the horses and ride hard for Erebor, to all of you. He tried to convince me to leave him behind saying he would only slow me down. That it would be better for everyone since he would only be killed if he returned to the mountain and he would rather die by their hands instead of one of yours. It was by Mahal's grace he lost consciousness long enough for me to steal one of the horses and get us both away from those bastards." she spat her voice pure ice and venom.

"Bilbo Baggins is the best being I will ever have the honor to know. He saved me time and time again by putting himself in harms way with out a moment of hesitation, for no other reason than it was the right thing to do. Even after everything he'd been through he always put the needs of those around him before himself. Just as he did with all of you, and the worst part is he doesn't see how truly amazing he is. He thinks himself to be a unless coward worth no more than the mud beneath a boot because that's what you all led him to believe!" she shouted surging to her feet hot blinding anger replacing her grief in an instant. She glared at each of the dwarves in turn before leveling her gaze on her brother.

"He fought for you, he followed you, he put his life on the line for you and for what? Not for gold or glory, he never wanted riches or songs. He did it because he loved you, he did it because you asked for his help and he would never turn his back on someone when there was any chance he could help them. What did he get in return? Your mockery, you're disdain, the chance to be the butt of all of your jokes! The cruel irony is that he never betrayed you, not even after you had already cast him away and named him a betrayer." She barked out a frantic laugh closing her fingers into tight fists.

"Beaten, bloodied, and broken he worked to protect me and all of you from those monsters! H-he still spoke of you all with love and friendship in his heart, he blamed himself for your selfish actions. He was willing to die alone in a pool of his own blood chained like a beast because he thought so little of himself; because he thought he was the one who failed you. None of you appreciated the true friend you had in Bilbo Baggins. He is stronger than any dwarf, man, or elf and he is going to survive this. When he does it would be more than any of you deserve if he were to disappear out of your lives forever." she finished her shoulders deflating her anger smothered our by a drowning sense of emptiness.

"You wanted to know what events led to him lying an inch from death and I've told you. Now I'm going to go back to his side, I've spent to much time here as it is." she whispered rushing from the room leaving thirteen devastated dwarves in her wake. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take a moment and let me know what you think I love getting your feedback!
> 
> Until next time,  
> Christina


	3. An Elf, A Man, and A Dwarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company reacts to Dis's explanation and also a lot discover that Bilbo has more friends than they realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I would To thank everyone who has read, commented, and left kudos on this story; the amount of feedback I've received has been amazing. I honestly thought I was going to get flamed for this story due to the abuse I subjected Bilbo to but am glad you all have been able to see past the violence to the heart of the story.
> 
> This story is going to be messy in the beginning because emotional wounds cut deeper than any sword and take much longer to heal. There will be a major amount of fluff and some smut when the time is right. Don't worry this will not be a drawn out angst fest but the story will need to proceed naturally. 
> 
> I have gotten a lot of positive feedback regarding Dis even having some readers say that they identify with her on a personal level which I love. She is such a strong character will so much untapped potential and I plan on exploring this side of her throughout the story. 
> 
> We'll that's enough chatter from me for now I hope you all enjoy this new update!

The sound of the slamming door echoed through the room like a strong hammer blow to cold steel. The company sat motionless, clutching to one another, knuckles white and unyeilding. Dwarves were hard creatures, carved from stone in the image of their maker but even the densest rock can be broken down by a constant flow of water and as hot tears streamed down their distraught faces, leaving trails of salt and pain more than one thought they would carry those lines to the end of their days. It would only be right for them to bare a mark of their pain, a reminder of the shame they all felt in this moment. 

_What had they done?_

That single question bouncing around in each of their heads, carried by a voice that sounded to much like their broken burglar in the room beyond. They had done this to him. It may have been another's hand behind the blows but the wounds were of their making, wounds that began long before those monsters struck him. Each held on to their brothers, not caring if they were of blood or arms, not knowing whose tears fell on their hand and caring not. All lent their silent support to the other not wishing to receive any for themselves, how could they ever be worthly of comfort now? 

Images flashed before their eyes, fire side converstaions, bits of smiles and laughter, eyes wide with wonder and admiration; suddenly replaced with silent screams, blood dripping from open mangled wounds, wrists bound by unforgiving steel, and arms stretched to their limit strung high above a head of golden curls.

All would give anything to travel back in time to right the wrongs they had committed but they were only dwarves. Stone and steal, fire and molten gold, that is what they were and just as the mountain blocks the sun and crushes all beneath it's heavy weight they too had crushed their burglar. He who shined brighter than any gem, gold, or stone; who had given them his best no matter how difficult of a task, crushed beneath the weight of their pride and indiffference. 

Throats burned cried horse with grief, limbs shook, shoulders hunched low under the weight of regret. Theirs was a burden of their own making, forged by hands of mistrust and ignorance. Why had they treated him so badly, because he was weak; because he was soft; because he had never lifted a sword? Bilbo Baggins had been different from them and instead of embracing him as he was they mocked him for his differnces. The irony of it all was that if each of them had been a little bit more like their hobbit things would have gone much differently.

It was Ori who spoke first, or tried to speak but his voice cracked turning into a horse rasp before he gave up, tucking his face into his brothers hard shoulder. 

As it tends to, grief swiftly turned to anger, lighting a fire in each of them. Memories fanning the flames higher, hotter, spiraling, consuming each of them until they all trembled with it. Their blood screamed in their ears.

_Smash, beat, avenge, smash, beat, avenge._

It chanted, until everything else faded away into the background as white noise.

Kili turned first, always one of the more sensitive soul's setting his eyes on his uncle. Thorin who was crumpled down on the floor, hands shaking as he tried to balance his weight between his knees and arms, chest heaving irratically, his eyes screwed shut and his face twisted into an expression Kili had never seen the like of before. He watched as Thorin reached up one hand fisting it into his chest, pulling, clawing at it as if he could reach inside himself and pull out the offending organ and crush it beneath his heavy palm. Tears pooled beneath the king as his shoulders finally collapsed with a broken gasp sending him crashing to the ground, his large fists beating against the stone.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom._

The drumming of his grief rang through the room.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom._

It's cadence strong and unwavering.

Images ran in Kili's mind in time with the hits until each slam against the stone aligned with an image of a broken Bilbo. His temper flared looking for an outlet, searching for a place to lay the blame.

"You." he hissed raising to his feet, shoving off his brother as he tried to pull him back down into his embrace.

_Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom_ . 

Thorin ' s cadence continued oblivious to everyone and everything around him.

"You!" Kili bellowed striding forward to tower over his uncles shaking form.

Thorin ' s hands stilled but he did not raise his head to meet Kili's eye, instead he turned his face downward, hiding in the cascading wall of hair that engulfed him.

"This is your fault." Kili hissed his voice drawn tight as the string on his bow, his words as deadly as the arrows it fired.

"If you wouldn't have cast him away this never would have happened. He would have been safe in the mountain instead of by himself in the wilds. He should have been here in Erebor, the kingdom he helped reclaim!" he yelled throwing his arms wildly in front of him and still Thorin remained mute.

"It is only because of him that we made it here in the first place! Not to mention how many of us he saved in that damned war of yours! A war he tried to prevent while we stood holed up in a damn treasure hoard concerned about nothing but the riches at our feet." 

Kili's words aimed true striking into the very heart of Thorin, each slew of words widening the crack in his already broken heart until he was sure it would split in two inside his very chest.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" Kili asked his voice horse and raw.

"You don't do you?" he breathed incredulously.

"You won't even look at me." he spat at his uncle his anger burning hotter than it ever had before in his young life.

"Look at me!" he yelled stomping closer, until his boots brushed against Thorin's crumpled coat.

"Damn it look at me!" he cried fisting his hands in his hair, pulling it wildly away from his face, wincing at the pain of his own grip.

Still Thorin remained silent and hidden, praying for death to come and end him of his misery.

"I said look at me!" Kili screeched reaching down graspring Thorin by his shoulders lifting him off the ground. 

Kili bulked under his uncles dead weight for an instant as Thorin refused to set his feet under him, dangling limply in his nephews arms but still his head hung, his eyes cast down to the floor where he'd been moments before.

"Why. Wont. You. Look. At. Me." Kili ground out each word punctuated by a sharp shake of his unlces frame.

"Stop being a coward and look at me!" Kili bellowed loud as any war cry thrusting Thorin away from him into the stone wall behind him with a crash.

Finally, Thorin stood on his own his head thrown back against the wall, letting the stone support his weight.

"Why? Why did you cast him aside?" Kili asked tasting the salt of his own tears.

"Was that stone worth it in the end? Does the Arkenstone keep you warm at night? Does it fill the holes in you heart?" Kili fired one after another frantic, unstable, and wild.

"He loved you, did you know that? He would have followed you to the ends of the earth and back if you'd let him because he loved you!" he shouted his voice cracking like the heart inside of his chest.

"And you - and you threw him away like a piece of filth." 

Kili advanced on his uncle again no longer able to bear the silence of the man he had seen as a father his entire life. Pulling back his elbow he sent his fist into his uncle's stomach, Thorin's breath leaving him in a whoosh.

"He loved you and you broke him!" he cried landing another punch.

"He saved you and you cast him aside!" another punch landed home.

Thorin did not struggle, he did not fight back; instead he let Kili's blows land on him like an answered prayer, finally physical punishment for the harm he had done. A hundred blows could fall on him and they wouldn't be enough. So he stayed silent hoping Kili's hands would beat until his mind faded to black.

"He followed you and you led him to nothing but heartbreak!" another blow swifter this time.

"He trusted you and you betrayed him!" Thorin welcomed the pain allowing it to brand each of Kili's statements into his skin.

"He trusted us and we betrayed him!" Kili cried his arms growing heavy.

"He trusted me and I betrayed him!" another blow softer this time and Thorin hated him for it.

"I should have done something! I should have stopped you, I should have been there, I should have been the friend that he deserved." he sobbed falling hard onto Thorin chest unexpectedly. 

Thorin wrapped his arms around his nephew to keep him upright Kili latching on to him with a death grip. The young dwarf buried his face into Thorin's thick hair as strangled gasps ripped from his throat. Thorin held on squeezing tight, Kili's pain echoing in himself. 

"What have I done?" Kili sobbed over and over again.

Thorin murmured mindless words of what he hoped were comfort but honestly he couldn't tell or remember them once they passed his lips. Through it all Kili hung on his grip tightening until Thorin couldn't tell where he ended and Kili began, his mind took him back to another time Kili had clung to him in such a way. This was not the small vulnerable dwarfling who had just lost his father, here was a strong proven warrior who had seen the horror of the world; and though the boy grown into an adult his pain was still as raw and real as it had been when he was no more than a babe. 

"It's not your fault. Ssshhh. It's not your fault Kili. It's no one's fault but mine." he whispered bringing one hand up to cup the back of Kili's head rocking him slowly against his chest.

"You're right. Everything you said was right." he said through his tears as they began to fall a new. How he still had tears to fall he'd never know but down they came in never ending waves.

"I was a coward, a coward of the worst kind. I pushed him away and treated him badly because I was scared of my own feelings. I do not know if he loved me-" he stopped then, his throat closing over his words trapping them. He swallowed hard once, twice, and then a third time forcing his body to obey; maybe if he'd done that before they would not all be here now.

"I know that I loved him, I still love him, I will always love him and I-I failed him." he choked his legs giving out beneath him as if the confession had taken all of his strength with it; Kili slid down with him landing in a heap in Thorin lap, his arms still latched around his neck.

"He is my one and I sent him away. I sent him away into the hands of monsters." Thorin stopped then resting his forehead lightly against the top of Kili's head guilty for the bit of peace it brought him. He deserved no peace.

No one spoke.

Thorin had completely forgotten about everyone else until Fili landed beside him on his knees looking unsure as he bent forward. Thorin lifted his one arm giving Fili all the permission he need to throw him self beside his brother. Thorin clasped both of them on the back of the neck and held on tight as they both clutched to him in return. The trio sat together sharing in their grief and pain. This was not an embrace of forgivness. No, they were still far from that day, if it came at all. This was an embrace of despiration, a shot in the dark to hold on to something familiar, something they had known and trusted before their world had come crumbling around them. A foundation of solidarity amungst the rubble and jagged pieces of reality that had become their lives.

Some may have seen that moment as a sign of hope, a sign that even in the darkest moments love could be found in those who one truely cared for but not for Thorin. Thorin felt nothing but the shattering of his heart and the weight of his shame as his one, his love, his life, his burglar lay fighting to stay alive in the next room. As he sat on that stone floor holding tight to his nephews who were more sons to him than anything else he prayed. 

He prayed to both Mahal and Yavanna to spare Bilbo Baggins. He prayed until his tears stopped, he prayed as the company slowly shuffled from the room in groups leaning on each other as they left, he prayed as Kili and Fili both placed a soft kiss to his temple before departing themselves, he prayed as he curled up in the corner pulling his coat around him for warmth, and he prayed as his emotionally drained body drifted off into a fitful sleep his fingers curled around the acorn in his pocket.

* * *

Dis sat quietly on the bed next to Bilbo's head, gently wiping away the sticky sweat from his fever. His body was hot, as hot as a furnace and even though she had spoken with such absolute surety about his recovery to the company three days prior, she worried. Oin was the best healer in any of the Dwarven kingdoms and he was doing everything in his power to help heal Bilbo; even going as far as to research elvin medicines. He'd been able to keep the fever somewhat in control up until last night but now everything he did seemed uneffective. She dipped the cloth in the basin filled to the brim of cold water before letting it rest on the back of Bilbo's neck. He remained deathly still under her minstrations, never moving more than the rise and fall of his chest and never letting so much as a whimper pass his chapped lips. 

The door of the sitting room to her right opened and closed revealing the form of a small downcast Ori, who took up residence of the seat a few feet away from the bed. Dis ignored him as she did all of the others unless they spoke directly to her.

 The day after she informed the company of all of he abuse and torture Bilbo suffered at the hands of their captors the entire company came to see him at once. Dis had been furious when she entered the healing chamber to find them all huddled around his bed spewing apologies and clasping his hands. More than one of them bore a mark from where she forced them all into the little sitting room they had claimed as their own. None of them argued as Dis shouted and chastised them for their selfish behavior before laying down very strict restrictions for those who wished to visit the hobbit, even going as far to write them down and post them on the door. 

 

_1\. Only one dwarf will be allowed to enter the healing room at a time, there is no need to crowd Bilbo or the healers who have a job to do._

_2\. Said dwarf will sit silently on a stool of my placement or stand away from the bed, out of he way._

_3\. No one but myself or a healer may touch Bilbo Baggins in anyway shape or form. You all lost that right when you mistreated him and will only regain it by Bilbo's consent, which he was currently unable to give._

_4\. No one is to speak of/or apologize for any wrongs committed by themselves or other members of the company. **NO EXCEPTIONS.** Any apologies must wait until Bilbo is not only conscious but also lucid before being given. To apologize when someone is unable to hear or acknowledge the remorse behind the statement is stupidity of the highest form and will **NOT** be tolerated. Blibo deserves to hear them himself when he is of strong mind and body and he will do so if he wishes. _

_5\. Acceptable forms of conversation are as follows: Normal conversation regarding the everyday comings and goings of your daily lives and/or work, reading out loud from a book or other work on a topic that would interest him (ask for help if in need of assistance finding an appropriate topic), singing quietly, and fond memories that do not involve Bilbo being made fun of in anyway._

_6\. No one is allowed to visit with Bilbo unsupervised. Peirod. If I am not present you will turn around and return to where ever you came from. **No EXCEPTIONS** _ . 

_7\. If any of these rules are broken said offender will find themselves barred from the chambers for the rest of the duration of Bilbo's recovery and on the receiving end of my fist. There will be no bending, changing, loosely interpreting, or ignoring these rules._

_Yours truly,_

_Dis_

 

So far everyone had conceded to obey her rules, some less obligingly than others, each visiting at least once a day when their schedules allowed. Thorin had been one of the most frequent visitors sitting silent as stone, eyes watching the hobbit never leaving their target. He had only spoken once on his second visit, offering an apology to Dis herself for his madness and the harm it caused to her sons. 

 

_"I always thought myself to be stronger than them." he whispered quietly, so quietly Dis thought she had imagined his words at first._

_"I thought our grandfather weak because of how thoroughly he allowed the gold to take over his mind and heart but I know now that I am just as weak as he was, even more so I'm afraid."_

_Part of Dis wanted to comfort her brother, assure him that he was not in fact the villain he portrayed himself to be but one look at Bilbo halted her tongue._

_"I was blind. I could not see anything beyond my want of the treasures of gold and gems. My blindness almost led to the loss of everything I've always held dear. I was willing to send your sons, my beloved nephews, to war over a stone and for that I am truly sorry." Dis could hear the tears in his voice but remained silent, Thorin would not wish her to speak now, he had never been one for apologies._

_"I will never be able to atone for the wrongs I have done to him nor do I deserve the chance to try." he stated flatly, nodding his head in Bilbo's direction._  

_"It would have been a kinder fate for me to have died that day, a death of honor fighting for my kin and kingdom instead of being forced to live out the rest of my days in regret and shame." he finished clenching his jaw his eyes still locked on the form laying on the bed._

_Dis's heart lurched at the words her own tears stinging her eyes at his admission._  

_"Don't speak that way." she ordered firmly, "You were wrong I will not sprout pretty words to justify your actions when there are none that would ring true but your are my brother and I don't want to imagine a fate in which you had been slain. I am beyond angry at you, a fact which you already know but I love you. I love you just as fiercely now as I have our entire lives." She promised hoping he would believe the truth in her words_ .

_"I will never condone your treatment or actions towards Bilbo but I love you still. I love you Thorin but right now I don't like you very much at all." she finished determinedly._

_Thorin's only response was to nod his head once before the pair fell back into silence each lost in their own thoughts wondering where they would go from here, both knowing the answer relied with the broken figure before them._

"Good evening _amad._ " Kili greeted quietly as he replaced Ori on the stool by the bed.

Dis smiled and rose to embrace her son with a smile. She had a long talk with both of her boys the night before, making sure to tell them how proud she was of them both for what they had accomplished since she had seen them last. Bilbo had been happy to inform Dis of even the smallest details concerning her son's which she listened to eagerly during their capture. She was happy to note that they had been two of his closest companions on the journey though there had been more than a few occasions she felt the need to scold them for.

"How is he?" 

"His fevers gone up but I'm sure Oin will figure something out." she answered with false surety, Kili was a sensitive soul and she did not want to cause him any more worry than he already carried.

Just then the door to the healing chamber opened with a bang as the wooden door slammed against the stone wall sending Dis spinning on her heel her expression thunderous.

"What in Druin's name do you think your doing?" she seethed at Gloin who looked agitated, shuffling from one foot to the other.

"Kili your needed in the throne room. Now. Right now." he stated carefully avoiding the princess's furious gaze.

Dis huffed at his avoidence, "And just what is so important that would warrant your barging in here like an oliphant?" 

"Throin sent me, he's uh- summoned the entire company. Ori said Kili would be here." he answered quickly motioning for Kili to rise to his feet.

"Come on! We've got to go!" he hurried rushing into the room and dragging a very confused Kili behind him, offering no more explanation as he shut the door behind him.

At least he had the decency to shut it shoftly, the princess mused taking up her post on the hobbits bed muttering under her breath about impulsive dwarves.

* * *

Throin paced back and forth across the expanse of the large meeting hall trying to keep himself from throttling the tall tree sagging elf king before him. 

_Who was he to demand a visit to the hobbit - his hobbit- the companies hobbit...or was his hobbit._  

The idea that Thorin no longer had the right to call Bilbo his halted his stride momentarily as he cursed under his breath. Even if Bilbo was lost to him that pointy eared bastard had no right to him either.Thorin ignored the elf, blocking out the words that left his lips growling every time he met the elf ' s eyes. 

Thorin had just been finishing up a rather boring meeting with the head of the jewelers guild regarding a work schedule in the forges eager for the chance to visit Bilbo when Dwalin had caught him in the hall. Dwalin informed him that none other than the elf king himself had just arrived demanding an audience with him. Thorin had no idea what could have prompted the visit, all of Erebor ' s dealings with the elves of Mirkwood were finished for the time being, each party pleased to be free of the other for quite some time. For a moment he had almost told Dwalin to let Balin handle whatever headache Thranduil had brought to his halls but one thought of Bilbo's reaction to such an idea had him stalking towards the throne room with a disgruntled frown. 

He had not expected for Thranduil to immediately begin firing inquires regarding the hobbit and demanding to be brought to him. Throin had refused and one look at Dwalin had sent the warrior rushing from the room to round up the company, anything pertaining to their hobbit would be dealt with together as a united front. 

It hadn't taken long for the company to assemble some such as Bofur covered in rock dust having obviously been busy at work. Others such as Bombur and Dori appeared to be winded as if they had sprinted there from wherever they had been. Kili and Gloin had been the last to arrive, glaring daggers at the elven king upon hearing his less than polite request.

"If you would be so kind as to explain the reason behind your request, perhaps his majesty would be would be more willing to discuss the possibility of setting up a meeting between yourself and Master Baggins." Balin said with an air of diplomacy Thorin would never achieve, his response to the elf had been much more colorful.

"Is Bilbo a prisoner of Erebor then?" Thranduil asked raising one of his brows looking down his stupid pointed nose.

"For I can find no other conclusion for your insistence that Bilbo would be unable to agree to meeting me himself." he stated dryly, "Unless of course he is unable due to more sinister reasons..." the king concluded his eyes suddenly flashing, his mouth forming a hard line.

"Have you harmed the hobbit?" he asked his voice cold as he narrowing his eyes.

"We would never!" shouted Ori from behind his brother puffing up his chest in indignation.

"If you have so much as harmed a single hair on his head I will be very displeased." the elf spat as the door to the meeting chamber opened cutting off Thorin's response.

"Your majesty, King Bard is here to see you." the gaurd stated from his place in the doorway.

"Of course he is," Thorin grumbled.

Thorin's order to have Bard informed to return at a latter time died on his lips as the King of Dale shouldered past the gaurd stomping into the room looking more furious than Thorin had ever seen him.

"King Thorin, I apologize for my unusual entrance, I would not presume to enter your kingdom in such a way if it was not a matter of the upmost importance." he apologized bowing stiffly before striding forward.

" Thranduil, I'm glad you are here, I just sent a rider to your halls to inform you of my suspicions." he greeted the elf looking relived.

"Have you seen him? Where is he?" the man asked addressing the elf.

Thorin growled low in his throat, just what was going on here?

"If you have business with Erebor state it now." he snapped his patience wearing thin.

"All of my requests to be granted an audience with Master Baggins have been denied." Thranduil cut in completly ignoring Thorin's words.

Bard spun quickly on his heels his eyes leveling on the dwarves before him. 

"Is it true that Master Baggins has recently returned to your halls?" Bard asked his voice short and polite yet his body language said the opposite.

"Just what do you want with Master Baggins?" Dwalin asked stepping forward.

"I don't believe that answered my question Master Dwarf." Bard retorted noticing how the rest of them tensed at his question. 

"I don't belive I am under an obligation to answer your questions." Thorin answered coming to stand shoulder to shoulder with Dwalin, his eyes narrowing at the man.

"This is what I have been dealing with." Thranduil huffed in annoyance though his face remained a blank mask of in difference, "Their minds are as thick as the moutain around them." he clipped.

"I see you are as charming as ever." Bard smirked glancing at the elf king out of the corner of his eye.

"I only state facts as I see them and I dare you to come to a different conclusion."

"Now listen here you tree sagging, dirty bast-"

"King Bard, as I just informed King Thranduil we are going to need more information regarding the reasoning behind your visit before any decision regarding a meeting between yourselves and Master Baggins can be made." Balin rushed cutting off the slew of curses and insults that had been spewing from his brother; there was no one better with a battle axe but he was useless in political meetings.

"And as _I_ informed _you_ my reasoning is of a personal nature and will only be discussed with Bilbo." Thranduil snapped icily.

"That is the fifth time you have called him by his given name, I was not aware you were on such friendly terms with our burglar." Thorin hissed his anger boiling under his skin.

"There are many things you are not aware of Thorin, King Under the Mountain, my relationship with Bilbo Baggins being the least of them." Thranduil drawled lifting his chin.

_Relationship?_

"The last time I spoke with _Bilbo_ , I was under the impression that all ties between himself and your company had been severed quite thoroughly." Thranduil added emphasizing the use of Bilbo's name as, smirking as all of the dwarves blanched at his words.

It was Fili who was the first to recover eyeing the elf suspiciously, "Just when was the last time you saw Mater Baggins?" 

"After leaving your welcoming halls the wizard and the hobbit journeyed to my kingdom. Gandalf was called away suddenly, as wizards tend to be but Master Baggins remained as an honorary guest for over a month."

"In fact, Bard was present for the last three weeks of his stay and the two of them became quite close did you not?" Thranduil asked raising a questioning brow towards Bard who nodded his agreement.

"It is my honor to consider Master Baggins my friend." 

"Oh I don't think friend is the right word to use. If I recall correctly it was only two days after your arrival when Bilbo moved into your own chambers for the rest of his stay. The screams coming from your rooms were loud enough to be heard in the next wing. It was all my servants seemed capable of speaking of, even more so after they saw myself exiting your chambers in the early morning hours." Thranduil added his voice taking on a silky qaulity.

"What!" Bellowed Thorin his blood pounding in his ears at the elf 's implication. 

The idea of anyone putting their hands on his one, caressing his soft skin, causing cries of pleasure to fall from his lush lips made him sick and furious at the same time. Thorin wasn't sure if he wanted to throw up or murder the bastards in front of him. Both, he decided murder first be sick second.

Thranduil smiled icily at Thorin's outburst not even attempting to hide his pleasure at the Dwarven kings distress as Bard blushed and sputtered beside him.

"Night terrors!" he half shouted in a rush.

Bard cleared his throat trying desperately to control the wild blush that had taken over his entire face and neck at Thranduil's words.

"It was night terrors." he tried again pleased that his voice had returned to a more normal octive, "Bilbo suffered from severe night terrors. My daughter had them after my wife died and I found that having someone close by tended to help." he explained quickly.

"I offered for him to stay with me so he would have someone there to wake him and comfort him if need be. We mostly just stayed up late into the night talking until he would fall asleep and I would take him to bed."

"Not my bed- a separate bed- which he slept in...alone." Bard sputtered at the growls that rumbled menacingly from all thirteen dwarves before him Thorin's sounding louder than the rest.

"Oh course he had night terrors, whatever else would I have been speaking of?" Thranduil drawled slowly but his eyes sparkled with amusement and Thorin guessed the elf had meant for his words to be taken exactly the way they had.

"As interesting as that was I think it would be best if you got back to business." Thranduil stated his face becoming serious and sharp.

"Lady Galadriel of Lothlórien has seen the image of Bilbo being carried into your moutain bloody and unconscious." 

"What interest does the Lady of Light have in a simple hobbit?" Thorin asked cutting off Thranduil's words, there was more going on than was being said, with Bilbo smack in the middle of it and that made him uneasy.

"There are many words to describe Bilbo Baggins but simple has never been one of them." Thranduil spat his calm demeanor crumbling.

His reaction only fueled Thorin's unease and anger as he clenched his jaw at his words. He knew Bilbo was anything but simple he hadn't meant his words to be taken as an insult to the hobbit yet Thranduil had jumped to his defense. Just what could possibly prompt such an emotional reaction from the nornally stoic elf? 

The pair glared at each other from across the space between them as the tension in the room hit an all time high. Bard stepped forward cutting off any direct eye contact between the angered kings.

"Bloody and unconscious?" The man ground out between clenched teeth his eye bright with anger of his own.

"Why would a dwarf by pass aid that would have been readily offered in Dale and continue on to the Lonely Mountain, especially if one of the riders was badly injured?" Bard questioned suspiciously.

"The other rider has not been to Erebor since the dragon came, they were unaware of the alliances between us." Balin answered stiffly, "They only wished to bring Bilbo to a place he would not be harmed."

"And they chose Erebor to be that place? We're they also unaware of your feelings towards the hobbit?" Bard spat incredulously.

"I'd be careful about what you're implying there." Dwalin rumbled dangerously from his place beside Thorin. "There's not a soul in this mountain who would wish Master Baggins harm." 

"History would say otherwise Master Dwarf." Bard spat acidily, "Was it not the King himself who dangled Bilbo Baggins over your battlements with the intent to send him to his death!" 

Chaos erupted at Bard's words as every dwarf started shouting loudly trying to be heard over the others. Insults were thrown, some rooted in old prejudices and some of a more imaginative nature at Bard and Thranduil; both becoming increasingly agitated by the second.

"We have not spent the last six months scouring all of Middle Earth for him to allow him to be dragged back to the one place he wanted to never see again!" Bard shouted after a particularly colorful insult from Gloin.

Silence fell upon the hall, heavy and thick with tension and disbelif.

"You knew." Kili spluttered, "You knew all this time and did nothing!" he shouted eyes wide and frantic as he pressed forward coming to stand in front of his uncle, his shoulders shaking with barely suppressed rage.

"We became aware of Bilbo's capture when he failed to make an appearance at the home of the shape shifter. We immediately pooled together our resources mounting a massive search for him." Thranduil explained body meeting the Dwarven prince's glare with a fierce one of his own.

"Neither of you thought to inform us of his disappearance?" Throin growled.

"You banished him before our very eyes and again after the battle why would we assume that any of you would be concerned for his safety? How were we to know you weren't directly responsible for his capture?" 

A round of heartfelt denials sprang from the dwarves at the King of Dale's implication as more than one of them reached for their weapons.

"Enough!" shouted Thranduil his hair and robes billowing in an unseen wind as light shined around his form like a halo.

"You will take us to Master Baggins **now**. He is a newly appointed Lord of Dale and holds the position of Ambassador to the West and Trusted Advisor to the Kingdom of Mirkwood, making him a citizen of both. Should you keep him from us you will be in breech of our peace accords and your actions will be seen as a declaration of war on both Dale and the Elven Relam." he declared forcefully stepping forward to stand directly before Thorin who was trying not to show the shock he felt at the elf ' s words.

"Know this King Under the Mountain, should you refuse us it will not only be the Armies of Mirkwood and Dale that come but that of Rivendell, Lothlórien, and Rohan. Should any harm have come to the hobbit by your hand on under your orders nothing will stop me from exacting retribution on his behalf." He hissed in ice and steel bending low to bring himself eye level to the Dwarven king. 

His tall willowy frame strung tight, looking as if he would snap in two at any moment.

"Why is Bilbo so important to you? What do you want from him?" Fili questioned.

Thranduil stood to his full height, looking down his nose at the dwarf as if he were a bug that need squashed under his heel.

"Elves rarely care for those outside of our own race but when we do we do so fiercely and without restraint. Bilbo Baggins has managed to become very important to me in the short time I have known him and I will do everything in my power to keep him safe." 

"Just because you were to blind to see what you had before you does not mean the rest of the world was as well. " he sneered speaking directly to Thorin.

 

"Oin! Oin!" cried a panting healer as he burst threw the door to the chamber gaining the attention of everyone on the room.

"Oin you have to come quick- Bilbo..." he panted resting his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath.

"What about Bilbo!" pressed Oin as he stalked towards the healer.

"Breathing- stopped. Grady is trying to resuscitate him but it's not working!" he cried desperately.

Panic filled every being in hall dwarf, man, and elf. Throin was the first to react a sprinting down out of the room and down the stone halls that would lead him to his beloved. Not caring who followed behind him as he pushed his legs to carry him faster. It might already be too late.

No. 

It was not to late.

Bilbo was a fighter he would fight to stay alive.

_He had to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please feel free to leave feedback below. I love being able to read your opinions on the work. 
> 
> For those of you who are also reading my other Thorin/Bilbo story From the Flames the next chapter will be posted by the 22nd so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Christina


	4. To Heal A Hobbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil comes to Erebor determined to heal his hobbit friend while Bilbo walks in a land unknown meeting an man who is much more than anyone could imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I desperately need to get my laptop fixed because trying to upload large files on my cell phone and tablet just isn't cutting it. This chapter was supposed to be posted with the next one as one long update but once again I was unable to upload such a large file so it had to be split in two. So it looks like you all got a Bogo today!
> 
>  
> 
> I've also been posting this story on my fanfiction.net profile receiving an extremely negative reception. Every time I post a chapter I've received numerous private messages flaming both my writing and the plot which has made me more than a little bit insecure. So please after reading this chapter take a moment and leave your HONEST opinion on this story positive or negative.

Thranduil followed the sprinting dwarf king at a brisk walk, cursing the slowness of their race not so subtlety under his breath. Bilbo was some where  in this cursed mountain in need of his help, and he was forced to follow behind these short legged heathens.

Precious seconds ticked by, each expanding to the length of what felt like hours, his frustration growing with every  breath. He promised Blibo that he would do everything in his power to keep him safe when he had left his halls, though the hobbit brushed off his words insisting he was unworthy of such concern. He would not be able to uphold that promise if the hobbit died before he could make it to his side. A small part of his mind whispered that valuable time was wasted bickering back and forth with the dwarf king and his company but he swiftly pushed it and the inkling of guilt he felt at the thought aside. He would make it to Bilbo in time making his last thought a moot point as long as these damned dwarves picked up their pace.

No more than a minute had passed before they were rounding the last sharp turn, rushing towards a large wooden door that was inlaid with a ridiculous amount of gold and gems. 

_Honestly, dwarves and their riches._

They would craft a chamber pot and inlay diamonds on the bottom just to see them sparkle.

Entering the chamber Thranduil swept past Throin, rushing to the bed, his charge now fully in his sight. Elves were not known to be the best healers in all of Middle Earth by chance; his people had access to powers no other race could hope to match and he planned on utilizing every ounce of that ability to keep Bilbo Baggins alive.

Gently he placed both of his hands on the exposed skin of the hobbits back, letting the warmth of his power gather in the palm of his hands. It bubbled softly over the hobbits form, soothing and assessing all of his injuries both on and under his skin. 

"What are you doing?"

"What's happening?"

"Can you help him?"

"Damn it answer us!" The dwarves shouted over each other but Thranduil ignored them all focusing solely on the hobbit.

He reached out, feeling the muted irregular heartbeat of the hobbit as his lungs fought hard to pull tiny gasps of air into his burning lungs, his chest heaving with the effort. Suddenly, a hard vice like grip clasped his upper arm stalling his movements. Thranduil snarled, casting a sideways glance to the dwarf surprised to discover it was not Thorin Oakenshield but a Darrowdam, who looked vaguely familiar to him.

"Whatever you have to do to save him do it." she ordered, increasing her grip. Though she spoke with a fierce tenacity Thranduil heard the underlying layers of grief, fear, and desperation in her words.

Thranduil rolled his eyes at her unneeded demand, as if she could order him to do anything. Not that it mattered, Thranduil was already determined to do whatever necessary to help his young friend. His only response was a slight shake of his head before he pushed her from his mind as well. He let his healing gift pool around the hobbits heart and lungs offering strength to the struggling organs, finding them to be much worse than he had originally expected. Though he was unwilling to admitt it, it was quite possible that even he would not be enough to keep the hobbit in the land of the living, not when his soul was so willing to pass between the worlds.

"What do you need." rumbled one of the dwarves.

"My son." Thranduil stated, never taking his eyes or hands from his charge, "He is waiting outside of the mountain, if Mater Baggins is to live I will need his help."

He heard more than one pair of scrambling foot steps rush from the room and he hoped they would be swift in bringing his son. They were running out of time.

Thranduil gathered his power letting it surround him and the hobbit in a bright ethereal light, buzzing under his skin.

 _"Hlar-nya óma elvellon, Hlar- nya hûn, hlar-nya hwest, lav-ti graw -d ir-d danna, maetha-nya tû mai-wen loita, nah-wen blab ad thuia go, mennai ci to dadwen._ " he spoke his voice taking on a timber as deep as the roots of the tallest tree, as smooth as a river that runs unhindered, as airy as the breeze that swirls high above the mountain, and as warm as the first ray of sunlight after a harsh winter strom. 

His heart beat thundered loud in his ears, pumping hard enough that it felt as if it would burst from his chest with every beat. He breathed deep, dragging blessed  air into his lungs, his chest rising a falling slowly. He felt Bilbo's heart stutter once, then twice as it tried to sync up with his own faltering with every failed effort.

_"Matha-nya hwest, matha-nya hûn, lenca a thala-wen dartha, di û blab a hwest tû gala"_

_"Adar."_ Legolas spoke coming to stand beside his father, his lips turning down in a slight frown at the sight before him.

His father and Bard, King of Dale had been right worry about their young hobbit friend, he had indeed been in need of their aid.

"His heart is too weak, I can't keep it beating and heal him at the same time. Start with the infections and work from there." his father ordered and Legolas saw the light sheen of sweat forming on his father's brow. "Work fast _nya-ion,_ we don't have much time if we wish to save him." Legolas needed no further prompting and quickly moved to do his father's bidding.

Thranduil and Legolas worked tirelessly together as the dwarves watched on silently. Dis had both of her arms wrapped around her son's unsure if she was holding them up or they her, not really caring either way. Thorin paced restlessly just behind the elf king and his son, his body stiffening each time one of them spoke in their own language. For the first time in his life he cursed his families dislike of everything elvish, he wanted nothing more in those moments than to be able to understand just what was being said. With each question that went unanswered by the duo his worry grew until he felt he would burst with it.

Legolas worked as quickly as possible with a meticulous eye and hand. He felt the sticky putrid pull of infection as he worked on the hobbits back and limbs. He isolated the infection pulling it from the hobbits body cauterizing the newly exposed skin with his light and power before aiding the growth of new skin to cover the wounds. His stomach heaved as he cleared one of the worse gashes, the infection seeping into his own body before being expelled by his own natural immune system. This type of healing was unorthodox and frowned upon but they did not have the time to work with poultices and serums so he did what needed to be done with no hesitation. Moving on to next wound he let his power flow in time with his father's voice, pulsing under the hobbits skin, encouraging his body to fight, to hold on to his life instead of slipping away into the dark.

Legolas felt the icy cold brush of something foreign against his light. It bubbled and oozed pulling at his power as if it were trying to stamp it out of existence entirely. He pushed back harder putting more effort into his healing only to to leave himself feeling woozy and drained. He realized with a start that the prenece, infection, what ever this monstrosity was, was not only draining him, pulling his light deeper into the dark but it was pulling Bilbo's soul as well. Now that he was aware of the problem he could feel the hobbit's soul fighting hard against the darkness where Legolas had previously assumed the creature to be willing slipping away. He was amazed Bilbo had managed to cling to life as long as he had against something so vile and strong.

"Adar, there's something here, something dark, it's pulling him into death." Legolas spoke lowly so only his father could hear he did not want the alarm the numerous dwarves scattered around the room.

"Show me." his father ordered glad that Bilbo's heart and lungs had stabilized pulling on the strength of the organs in the elf king's chest. 

Legolas led his father's light to the darkness allowing his father to explore the surrounding area with a surety only gained by many lifetimes of experience.

Thranduil turned suddenly causing Thorin to skid backward as the elf spun towards him. 

"We have encountered a complication, I need you all to leave the room before we can continue." the elf ordered firmly hoping the dwarves would listen just once and not argue.

Of course that was not the case.

"I'm not going anywhere." Thorin growled stepping closer to the bed.

His sentiment was echoed by every dwarf on the room as they began shouting and pushing their way foward.

"Enough stop it!" Bard called halting their movements as the dwarfs stopped to look at him it appeared they had entirely  forgotten his presence.

"Thranduil only wants to help Bilbo if he says we need to leave we need to follow his advice for Bilbo's sake." he scolded meeting the eyes of the dwarves closest to him.

"I appreciate your help King Thranduil but if there is anyway I may stay by his side I beg you to let me, I can not leave him now." Dis pleaded her eyes glossed with tears.

Thranduil tilted his head and regarded the darrowdam carefully, it was obvious she cared deeply about Bilbo though the how and why were unknown to him. The process to remove the darkness would be painful, extremely painful, if it succeeded at all and he could not have someone in the room that would try to stop or interrupt him while he worked, but to have another anchor, another person who loved the hobbit could be useful if things went awry.

"You may stay, only you, but you must swear not to interfere." 

"I swear it." Dis responded strongly.

"I will stay as well." Thorin stated stepping towards his sister only to find his path blocked by the elf king.

"Do you want Bilbo Baggins to live?"  Thranduil asked coldly eyeing Thorin as if he were a serpent about to strike.

"Of course." Throin answered vehemently his voice horse from lack of use.

"Then you will wait outside of the chamber and keep anyone from entering now matter what you hear." the elf ordered his tone offering no argument yet Thorin stiffened at his words his body fighting the idea of being separated from Bilbo.

"It is the only way to save him." Legolas added his voice gentle with an underlying tone of pity that shook Thorin to his core.

The dwarf king nodded once stepping forward to the edge of the bed Thranduil following close behind, the elf's body tense ready to pull him away if need be.

Thorin bent low until his lips hovered next to Bilbo's ear.

"You are stronger than any being I have ever known," he whispered his voice cracking, "I need you to fight now, one more miracle _amrâl’im’ê_ ." 

 He knew it wasn't right, that it wasn't respectful or wanted but he placed a light kiss against the hobbits brow anyway before walking from the room barking for the rest of the company to follow him into their usual waiting room. Thranduil gave him a purpose and he would fulfill it, no one would enter the healing chamber, not even himself, no matter what.

 _That blasted tree hugger better know what he's doing_ .

 

Dis quietly made her way to the head of the bed making sure to stand far enough away to allow the elves room to work but close enough to give her comfort. 

"What I have to do will be very painful for him," Thranduil nodded his head towards Bilbo, "will you be strong enough to witness his pain without interfearing?" 

"For him I will always be strong enough." Dis answered daring the elf to contradict her words

"Then we will begin." Thranduil stated evenly turning back towards the bed.

The air around the elven king and his son began to glow bright heating the space around them. Energy buzzed pulsating in a slow cadence used by a war drum sending goose bumps up Dis's arms. Thranduil began speaking in his own tongue rapidly his voice raising in volume with each pulse of energy. His son stood with his back hunched over Bilbo's  frame, his hands resting in Bilbo's blonde curls. The elven prince added his own voice and light to his father's and that's when they started.

The first scream that burst from the hobbit was so unexpected Dis jumped in shock shuffling back two steps. It echoed high and loud bouncing off of the cold hard stone with a roar; followed quickly by a second and a third cutting into Dis as sharply as any blade. Her first instinct was to immediately rush to his side, to stop the obvious pain yet one look at the elves halted her movements locking her legs in place.

 Thranduil's effort grew, his strain was visible even to Dis, a dwarf with no knowledge of elven healing, but she knew exhaustion when she saw it. Bilbo's gut wrenching screams continued even while his eyes remained shut and his body still as stone. It was completely unnatural and terrifying sight to witness. Bilbo, who had not cried out once during his brutal whipping was screaming as if he was being burned alive from the inside out. 

A heavy sickly feeling filled the room surrounding her, pushing on her from all sides until her limbs felt heavy and her breath came small gasps. She clutched her chest her heart racing beneath her palm as her eyes scanned the room frantically. Thranduil's light burst forward so bright she had to close her eyes against it his voice booming full of power and heat. She felt the pull though her eyes remained shut against the light, darkness versus light, shadow versus illumination battling for the right to claim the life of the hobbit. The surrounding force mounted one last attack the force of the heavy a sickly air increasing exponentially to the point that it sent Dis to her knees, her head clasped roughly between her hands. She felt as if the mountain had fallen down around her, crushed beneath the weight of a thousand stones, her scream joined Bilbo's merging together as one.

As suddenly as it appeared the heavy air evaporated leaving Dis unbalanced and unstable. Turning her head she saw Thranduil slump forward catching his weight on the edge of the bed as his son threw a supportive arm around his waist pulling him to stand up straight. Standing on shaking legs she half stumbled half dragged her feet forward to Bilbo's side letting out a sigh of relief to find his lungs breathing in and out in a stable rhythm. Timidly she pressed the back of her fingers to his forehead feeling cool sweat damp skin against her own and couldn't suppress the blinding smile that split her face.

"You may call in the others." one of the elves said and she rushed on shaking legs into the anti chamber to share the news.

As expected all thirteen dwarves and one man rushed into the room smiling joyously.

"He has made past the difficult part and should make a full recovery." Thranduil assured the group stepping away from his son to stand on his own when the dwarves entered the room.

"He will sleep, possibly for a few days but he will wake. I will be returning to Dale with King Bard in case he should regress though it is highly doubtful that he will, Master Baggins has a strong soul that is not ready to leave us quite yet." he smiled fondly at the hobbit running his long pale fingers through the hobbits hair and down over his cheeks before striding directly in front of Thorin.

"I expect to be informed the moment he opens his eyes." he demanded his eyes taking on their usual hard gaze, " I would take him with me if I could but he is still too weak to be moved such a distance."

Thorin ignored the harsh tone, the euphoria over the conformation of Bilbo's recovery leaving no room in his heart for anything but happiness and love.

"I will send a raven when he wakes." Thorin assured the elf. "I wish to thank you for healing him, I am in your debt." he finished with a sole nod of his head. The idea of being indebted to the elf made him sick and the words tasted like ash on his tongue but they were nothing compared to the life of his hobbit.

If he had expected a warm acceptance from the elf he was clearly mistaken as Thranduil's lips formed a hard line at his words straightening his back to bring him to his full height.

"In no way did I do this for you, any peace or happiness you have found in the result is purely by chance. I am a selfish being, I hold on firmly to that which is impottant to me and in the short time I have known him Bilbo Baggins has indeed become very dear to me." Thranduil snapped forcefully.

"Your small show of concern means nothing to me," he hissed sharply, "Do not think I have forgotten your treatment of him on your wall and that after. I do not trust you with him and even if he ever manages to forgive you I shall never forget." he finished and Thorin felt the treat behind the words, he himself had delivered many in defense of his kin and understood the absolute truth of Thranduil's statement; should he hurt Bilbo again his life was forfeit, King Under the Mountain or not.

What Thranduil didn't understand was if he hurt Bilbo again Thorin would gladly accept his fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Sindarin translations were done using http://www.elfdict.com/ and I apologize in advance for any and all mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
>  _Hlar-nya óma elvellon, Hlar- nya hûn, hlar-nya hwest, lav-ti graw -d ir-d danna, maetha-nya tû mai-wen loita, nah-wen blab ad thuia go, mennai ci to dadwen_ \--- Hear my voice elf friend, Hear my heart, hear my breath, allow them to carry you when you fall, be it that they beat and breathe together, until thou strength returns
> 
>  
> 
>  _Matha-nya hwest, matha-nya hûn, lenca a thala-wen dartha, di û blab a hwest tû gala_ \--- Feel my breath, Feel heart, slow and steady they remain, with every beat and breath strength grows.
> 
>  _Adar_ \--- father 
> 
> _Nya-ion_ \--- my son
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this story I truly hope you are all enjoying it.
> 
> As always feel free time leave any comments or questions below.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Christina 
> 
>  
> 
> P.s. For those of you following my other Thibo Bagginshield fic From the Flames it will be updated on the 1st.


	5. To Claim A Hobbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's journey as he lies unconscious in Erebor is much more than anyone could have guessed. There he meets a man who is much more than he seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember that this was originally supposed to be part of the previous chapter but thanks to technical difficulties it had to be posted on its own.
> 
> Honestly I was completely surprised by this part of the story I had no intention of taking the plot in this direction but before I realized what was happening the words were already on the page. Despite the fact that it was an unexpected twist I'm really happy with the plot and character development options it opens up for the rest of the story so hopefully you all will enjoy it as well.

Bilbo woke slowly, in stages that moved with such fluidity by the time he fully grasped the idea of the new sensations around him he had completely forgotten the ones before it. His eyes remained closed and his mouth mute but he was not helpless, he'd spent many nights with his eyes swollen shut and his lips split beyond use to causing his remaining senses to become more efficient. Quickly, as one does upon waking in an unknown surroundings, he began compiling a list of facts to give him a small semblance understanding.

_1\. The sun was warm beating down on him from directly above making it around mid day_.

 _2\. He was lying on thick plush grass, the kind the rolled over the hills in a sea of green. It's blades were tall and wide, perfect for making grass whistles_.

 _3\. There were no animal sounds of any kind. In fact there was not a single sound to be heard at all_.

He concentrated next on trying to regain some of his motor functions, focusing specifically on his finger tips. It took him longer than he would like to admitt, even though he had no idea how much time had passed because the sun had yet to change its position, but eventually he was not only able to move all ten fingers individually but close them in a fist as well. After another indistinguishable amount of time and frustration Bilbo was finally able to open his eyes and pull himself up into a sitting position; what he saw took his breath away.

He was in a meadow, not just any meadow but the most beautiful meadow he had ever seen. The grass was tall, lush, and green, it's shades ranged from the light green of fresh wood to the deep green of a mountain pine and it danced and moved in the soundless breeze. Flowers of every size, shape, and color spread out across the field shining and shimmering in the sunlight as if they were made from glass. The smells were overpowering sending his head swirling in a dazed bliss as he tried to differentiate them; lilacs, juniper, mint. It was by far the most gorgeous sight he had ever seen; if you were to imagine the perfect place it would fall short in comparison to this meadow. 

He looked around for any marker or clue as to exactly where he was and found nothing. He knew he had never been here before nor heard of such a place. As he took in his surroundings he spied a castle standing tall on a large hill above the sea of grass, it's stones shinning brightly in the sun. Rising to his feet he headed towards it as if following an invisible string that was pulling him to his destination. 

It didn't take long for him to make his way to its open gates and as he a proceed he noticed that it was more of a fortress than a castle with tall stone towers that twisted and turned rising into the sky. He felt intimidated standing on the threshold, he had seen no sign of life since he opened his eyes. No birds, bees, or butterflies in the meadow nor human, man, or dwarf inside of the fortress. He thought for a moment it may have been abandoned but it did not appear to be in unkempt or run down. Even the green vines that clung to the outer wall seemed tended and controlled, as if someone worked hard to keep up the aesthetic appeal of the place. Tilting his head back his eyes scanned the open windows searching for any sign of who or what resided inside to no avail. 

The invisible string tugged on him, urging him to move forward and curious he followed it under the arched gates into the court yard beyond. The court yard was circular with a large set of imposing yet beautiful stairs climbing to two large open doors. Again his eyes roamed the area finding no sign of life, a small shiver ghosted over the back of his neck as the invisible force urged him forward once again.

He followed the stairs up into the entry way of the fortress continuing on as the spiral stairs led him up higher and higher. He passed many doors made of both stone and wood, some with out any form of handles and those that did appeared to be locked. Still the force pulled on, Bilbo following blindly as if he were tethered to it. He felt a tingling in the back of his mind, pausing for a moment debating the idea of turning around when an orange glow caught his eye. Orange and yellow bouncing off of the stone causing shadows to dance down the stairs as if a torch was lit above. His innate curiosity out weighed any concerns he had been feeling the moment before and he silently pushed forward. 

Peering into the open door way he observed what appeared to be a bedroom of some kind. A large wooden bed was set off to the side on one of the far walls, two plush chairs were seated facing an enormous fire place, which had been the source of the orange glow, and an old man sat hunched over a large wooden desk that was situated in the opposite coner from the bed. He didnt know why he did it, he made no conscious decision for his feet to carry him into the room that held a strange man who was seemingly the only inhabitant of this strange place but move he did. 

"Whose there?" the old man shouted spinning quickly in his seat, surprisingly quick for someone so old.

Bilbo froze in place his mouth snapping shut his breath caught in his throat. Time stood still as the old man and Bilbo eyed each other; Bilbo with an apologetic embarrassed air while the old man pierced him with piercing grey eyes. The old man accessed Bilbo from head to toe his face forming an expression of shock mixed with confusion.

"Who are you?" The old man asked his voice slow and smooth like honey instantly relaxing Bilbo.

"I'm Bilbo Baggins, I apologize for intruding but I have no idea where I am." he answered trying to keep himself from fidgeting.

"How did you find this place?" he asked tilting his head to the side slightly.

"I uh, this may sound unbelievable but I have no idea; I just woke up in the meadow." Bilbo answered sheepishly, wondering why he hadn't asked himself that question. Now that he thought about it he couldn't remember anything before waking up in the meadow.

"Curious." the old man whispered more to himself than Bilbo casting a long look out the window.

Bilbo shifted uneasily from one foot to the other wondering if the old man had forgotten that he was there. Bilbo used to the time to truly observe the man before him. He was old, obviously, old enough for his age to be indistinguishable. He had long grey hair that was streaked with white falling past his shoulders to his elbow. His face was thin with a long hooked nose set above a pair of thin lips that was half covered by a long salt and pepper beard, his long large knuckled fingers were clasped together on his lap. Bilbo could tell by the length of his arms and linen clad legs that the old man was tall; most beings seemed tall to a hobbit but this man was almost unnaturally so.

Another sensation of tingling pressed into the back of his mind and a sense of deja vu. He felt as if he'd seen this man before, in another place, in another time. An image of a grey cloak and a withered pointy hat appeared in eye for the slightest moment and felt an ache in his chest as it disappeared with no reasoning behind it at all.

"Where are you from Bilbo Baggins?" the old man asked his eyes still looking at the window.

Bilbo thought for a moment but his mind was completely blank. He tried to think of anything about himself; his home, friends, mother, father, likes, dislikes, even his favorite color, finding nothing. _Blank._ His was mind was completely blank. He knew his name, Bilbo Baggins, but it ended there, he didn't even know how old he was. Part of him was extremely worried and panicked while the rest of him was wondering why he wasn't more concerned about the fact that he had absolutely no idea who he was or where he was for that matter.

"I-I don't know." he answered softly his eyes locking on the cold stone beneath his feet.

He didn't see the softening of the old man's face or the sharp spark in his eye at Bilbo's words too lost in his own head searching for something, _anything_.

"Where am I?" he asked his eyes slowly rising to meet the stormy grey of the old man.

"You are in my home, Amon Lanc." The old man answered, raising his hands to gesture towards their surroundings.

"If I am understanding the situation correctly Master Baggins you have managed to find your way to my home and not only have no memory of how you came to be here but no memory what so ever." he added gauging Bilbo's reaction.

"That seems to be the case." Bilbo frowned.

"Wonderful!" the old man exclaimed clapping his hands together.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, how rude of me!" the old man rushed, his face taking on an apologetic expression, "It's just that I've been alone here for a very long time. It would be my pleasure for you to stay here while you recover what you've lost, I'd quite like the company." he offered with a small smile.

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"Nonsense! Besides  it's getting rather late and you must be tired. Please allow me to show you to a room so you may rest."

Bilbo quickly thought over his options, he could stay here with this stranger, who did seem very kind, or go back outside and wander around with no memory or any idea where he was headed; obviously it did not take him long to make his choice.

"That's very kind thank you." he answered genuinely.

"Ah good lad! If you'll just follow me." was the reply he got as the old man shuffled past him and began to make his way further up the winding stairs.

As they climbed higher into the castle Bilbo noticed, with a degree of surprise, that the sun was quickly sinking below the horizon even though it had been high in the sky before he found the old man. He did not have much time to think on the subject before he was being ushered into to a very comfortable looking room almost identical from the one he had just left, the only difference being the color of the bedding, this room's was a bright blue where the other had been a deep purple color.

"Here we are Master Baggins, please make yourself at home. I will retire to now, let me know if there is anything you need to make you more comfortable. I'll be in my own chambers if you need me." he stated kindly bowing his head once as he turned to the door.

"Thank you!" Bilbo called after him, "I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name." 

The old man paused halfway out the door, his hand frozen on the large metal door handle.

"I have been known by many names by many different races." he answered his tone guarded.

"What is your true name?" he questioned again, the invisible string making a reappearance pulling at his mind as if the answer to this question was more important than just exchanging pleasantries.

The old man stood frozen in place eyeing Bilbo as if he were a puzzle that needed solving, "Mairon," he answered after a few moments, "My given name was Mairon." he whispered before leaving, shutting the door softly behind him.

Exhaustion he had not known he felt hit him like an avalanche causing him to stumble his way to the bed barely forcing himself to pull back the covers. His mind ran circles around everything he'd seen today as it tried to remember everything he'd forgotten only aiding in pulling him into slumber. Just as his eyes closed and his mind drifted from waking to sleep he saw a pair of icy blue eyes, the rest of the body and face hidden in shadows causing the eyes to appear even more striking. He tried to pull back the shadows, a great sense of longing and and another emotion he couldn't name firmly gathering in his chest as the figure lifted it's hands revealing a large copper colored acorn resting in his grey palms. 

In the coming weeks Bilbo and Mairon settled into a simple routine both would wake and share breakfast where Mairon would share stories some of which Bilbo assumed to be about the man's past, as Bilbo tried to remember and piece together any information from his own which he usually gained from his dreams each night.

After breakfast Bilbo would wander around the fortress and the meadow beyond or spend his day exploring and perusing Mairon ' s massive library. Some nights they would share diner together discussing the things Bilbo had seen and discovered that day before they would retire to their respective rooms. Before laying down to sleep Bilbo would write of his day, his memories new and old no matter how small in a large leather bound book Mairon had gifted him on the second night of his stay; adding a little dash to the back page to mark the days as they passed. Every night Bilbo would dream of faceless figures and muffled voices or images cloaked in a thick fog only to be forgotten by the time he a woke.

Three months passed that way, Mairon seemed kind and helpful eager to spend time with Bilbo. The hobbit, as he now remembered himself to be, was open and kind always quick to offer a his help, a willing ear, or companionable silence to the old man. It was apparent that Mairon was more than he seemed and had been alone for a very long time and eagerly sought out Bilbo's company.  It was during this time that Bilbo discovered that Mairon was in fact a shape shifter. One day when Bilbo went in search of breakfast he found him self seated across from a young man. 

The man had long brown hair and a soft yet masculine face with stunning green eyes. Bilbo may have screamed as the young man transformed into the old man he knew as Mairon and back again but what was a hobbit expected to do in such a situation. 

"Have you been able to do that all this time?" he asked his mouth still hanging open in shock.

"The whole time," Mairon answered with a smug smile that looked more natural on his young face than it ever had on the old man.

"So you chose to be a decrepit old man for the past three months?" Bilbo asked again his own smirk coming out to play.

"I was _not_ decrepit." Mairon hissed as if the word had physically wounded him and Bilbo laughed.

"It took you over a half an hour to climb an flight of stairs, not to mention all the strange cracking noises you made when you would stand or sit." the hobbit teased.

"Very funny." Mairon drawled waving his hand in the air.

"So why the change?" Bilbo questioned with genuine curiosity.

Mairon paused and tilted his head slightly to the left in what Bilbo had come to name his 'thinking' face.

"I've lived for a long time and done terrible things." he started solemnly, "but recently I've decided I might like a chance for a fresh start." he finished his voice sounding small and vulnerable as he glanced up at Bilbo.

Bilbo nodded once at his friend who flashed him a brilliant smile tossing a large apple to the hobbit. The pair fell back into their usual routine and though Bilbo wanted to ask Mairon about his past yet he held his tongue, his memory was still mostly just a blank space who was he to say that he hadn't done terrible things in his own right. The idea terrified him and he thought that if he had he would like the chance at a fresh start too.

It was on the eve that marked his six month at Amon Lanc when his memory returned to him. He dreamed of the icy blue eyes when the fog around them lifted vanishing as if it had never been there in the first place. 

 _Thorin_.

Suddenly, images flashed before him at a frantic pace leaving him dizzy and more than a little sick but they kept coming. Long nights spent on his mother's lap as she told him stories until he drifted off to sleep. The cursed Fell Winter that took more than a few hobbit lives. The Shire in all of it's glory filled with music and laughter as they danced under the party tree. His parents passing leaving him alone in Bag End. Gandalf appearing at his gate and inviting him on an adventure. Thirteen dwarves decending on his home and offering him a place among their company as their burglar. 

The images flew by more rapidly now as he saw rainstorms, mountain trolls, Thorin, Warg riders, Rivendell, Kili and Fili, stone gaints, goblins, falling down into the dark, Thorin, the creature, a ring, riddles in the dark, Thorin, sunshine, safety, Thorin, running, burning trees, Azog, Thorin, sting slicing through an orc, standing in front of the pale orc refusing to let him get to injured dwarf behind him, eagles, a mountain top, Thorin, elves, barrels, Thorin, a hidden door, a dragon, riddles, a cup, Thorin, Lake town on fire, the Arkenstone, Throin, the threat of war, betrayal, dangling high above the ground, heartbreak, Throin, a great battle, Throin, banishment, Thorin, Thranduil, Gandalf, Bard, nightmares, Throin, captured, Dis, beatings, Dis, Thorin, a whipping, escape, Dis, Thorin, Thorin, Throin, Thorin, Thorin.

He woke with a start and Throin's name on his lips his eyes wet with tears and his throat hot with bile. He felt off balance and unsteady, dizzy and weak as he fought for breath. 

_What had he done?_

Grief hit him fresh and new just as hard as it had the day he walked out of Throin's tent leaving the love of his life behind him. He had loved Thorin with everything he had and for awhile he had thought that maybe, just maybe the dwarf had loved him in return but he ruined that. He stole the Arkenstone and even though his intentions were good and done for the right reasons he had lost everything he held dear that day.  He cried until he had no more tears left in him to give and then cried some more his heartbreaking all over again. 

When the sun rose high in the sky he stumbled his way down the spiraling stone steps and to the small dinning room he and Mairon had come to use. 

"Bilbo what happened?" Mairon cried rushing over to his friend placing a steadying hand on his back to guide him to a seat.

"I remember." Bilbo croaked his throat burning around the words.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mairon offered gently placing a comforting hand on Bilbo's shoulder.

"I-I don't think I can." he whispered brokenly as more tears streamed down his face. 

Mairon said nothing as he pulled Bilbo to his feet guiding him up the stairs back towards his room slowly, Bilbo following behind him his eyes empty of everything but pain and regret.

"I loved him," Bilbo whispered softly and Mairon wasn't sure it was meant for his ears, "I loved him and I betrayed him."

Mairon guided Bilbo up into his bed and tucked his cover up around his shoulders unsure of what to do next. He was a cold soul by nature, he valued perfection, order, and power above all else. He had spent his very long existence pursuing those values without any thought of who he hurt in the process. Any fool stupid enough to oppose him was dealt with swiftly and mercilessly, used as a message to others who would dare to try his might. He had no experience with love or friendship they were a weaknesses, a vulnerability that could be used against him and that was not acceptable. 

Yet here he was concerned for the little hobbit before him, wondering what he could do to comfort and help him. Never once had he ever considered the needs of others, unless of course it could be used to his advantage then he was more than happy to exploits their needs but now he was at a loss. He had been alone for far too long, left to sit and stew in his bitterness and hate which he had done until the appearance of Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo was a mystery to him, he never pried into his past and never judged him for his behavior, when he would become angry or sullen; even when Mairon ' s anger was directed at the hobbit. Bilbo never fought back instead he would just slip quietly out the door not to be seen again until breakfast the next morning where he would always have a warm smile on his face. 

Slowly his bitterness began to fade and Mairon began to think that maybe his past could be forgotten here with the hobbit who had no past of his own. He stopped looking beyond Amon Lanc content to spend his days in the company of his new friend. _Friend_. Such a strange new word that he had yet to fully understand but he knew that it applied to his relationship with the hobbit, against all the odds, against his very nature. Which brought him to his dilemma, what did one do for a grieving friend?

Eventually, he decided on a simple but brilliant plan of action, he would imitate Bilbo's behavior. He would act towards the hobbit as the hobbit had always acted towards him and hoped for the best. Relieved at his decision he plopped himself down in one of the large arm chairs that Bilbo always seemed so found of, with a flick of his fingers the fireplace blazed with light casting a warm and he hoped comforting glow about the room. Leaning against the plush chair he sighed and settled himself in to wait, he would be here for the hobbit when he woke and go from there.

It had taken weeks before Bilbo was able to reveal his whole history to Mairon and even longer before he could honestly and openly speak of his feelings for Thorin. Mairon sat silently letting Bilbo ramble and rant, cry and scream when needed, always ready to offer his support. He had even suggested that Bilbo write of his life and adventure in his large book, saying that it might help him put it all behind him. Bilbo was extremely grateful for his friend but couldn't stop the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. 

He woke early one morning before the sun risen into the sky with a start and a familiar pull tugging on his chest. He dressed quickly grumbling about the ungodly hour but still followed the pull out the door and into the meadow. He was bent over admiring a large patch of wild flowers when he heard it, a whisper on the wind. It sounded familiar and it took him a few minutes before he realized the voice sounded identical to Thranduil's. Standing up quickly he scanned the meadow around him searching for his friend, hoping he would be there but finding nothing. The voice came again wafting past his ears and he chased after it as the invisible force pulled him along, encouraging him to find his friend the elven king.

"Bilbo!" Mairon yelled but Bilbo ignored him focusing on the voice that was getting softer by the second.

"Bilbo what are you doing?" he cried running to catch up with his friend.

"Following the voice." he panted pushing his burning legs faster, he hadn't run like this since the day he woke the dragon.

"What voice?" Mairon asked sending Bilbo a confused glance.

"Thranduil." Bilbo huffed seriously out of breath. "Heard him - can't find him."

Mairon reached out grabbing Bilbo by his upper arms halting his movements. 

"Thranduil was here? You saw him?" Mairon shouted frantically shaking Bilbo sharply by the shoulders.

Bilbo's eye grew wide his mouth opening and closing in confusion as to why he was being shaken like a rag doll.

"Did you see him?" he shouted again when Bilbo failed to answer.

"No." Bilbo bit out fighting the urge to whimper as Mairon's fingers dug hard into his arms hard enough to leave a bruise.

"I didn't see him I only heard him, or something that sounded like him." Bilbo explained eyeing Mairon warily more than a little unsettled by his violent reaction.

Mairon visibly relaxed though his grip on Bilbo remained sharp and tight.

"I need you to go inside right now." he ordered, "Go to your room and bolt the door, do not come out no matter what." he finished forcefully his eyes a swirling sea of gray that remained Bilbo of the faceless figures he used to see in his sleep.

"Why, what's going on?" he questioned, hearing the worry in his voice.

"I'll explain later just go!" he ordered turning Bilbo swiftly and pushing him towards the fortress with so much force the hobbit was forced to pinwheel his arms wildly to keep himself from crashing face first into the ground, before sprinting back to the fortress only stopping once he'd slammed his wooden door behind him.

That was the day that everything changed. 

Mairon who had been kind, concerned, and someone Bilbo had considered a friend became angry, paranoid, and extremely possessive. He refused to let Bilbo out of his room keeping the door bolted from the outside as if he were a prisoner. He would bring food three times a day which Bilbo always forced himself to eat a small portion of for strength. Mairon would visit every night and sit by the fire in Bilbo's arm chair for hours, muttering to himself about the elves, the dwarves, and Gandalf, how they had already taken too much from him and would not get his hobbit, as if Bilbo was a pet to be kept. 

As the days dragged on the sky grew darker the sun blocked out by massive black clouds, the meadow which had once been beautiful became twisted and sick, flowers dying only to be replaced by giant thorn bushes with thorns as long as Bilbo's arm. Mairon ' s behavior became more erratic as he would pace frantically back and forth across the floor of Bilbo's room only stopping long enough to shout his anger and bitterness or to smash something against the cold stone wall.

Bilbo was trapped, every time he tried to escape his room, not that he had any idea where to go if he got out, Mairon would find him and lock him right back up. The first time Mairon struck Bilbo he had been shocked, his friend pleaded for the hobbit to forgive him, tenderly trying to clean the split in Bilbo's lip. Bilbo flinched as his hand approached sending Mairon into another violent fit which thankfully only ended in the destruction of a their plates and tea cups. That was the moment Bilbo knew there was no going back, the Mairon he had considered a friend was gone and in his place was someone dangerous and not to be trusted.

The second time Thranduil's voice came drifting on the wind Mairon 's rage changed burning hotter and brighter. Bilbo saw  the the hate begin to take over his once friend twisting him into someone completely new and terrifying. He would question Bilbo mercilessly about his past, his friendships, Thorin, and most often if the hobbit would choose to stay in Amon Lanc or if he would go back. Every time he hurled his questions at the hobbit Bilbo remained mute from his corner refusing to even meet Mairon's eye which would always send him into a fit of rage but Bilbo knew his answers would only make the situation worse. Mairon would know if Bilbo lied to him but he truly feared Mairon ' s reaction should he tell the truth so he said nothing and prayed for a way out or death.

Mairon ' s tactics changed as Thranduil's voice was joined by another's growing in frequency and volume. He dragged Bilbo down into the dungeon of the fortress and cast him into a cell. Bilbo couldn't help laughing at the cruel irony that he was once again alone behind bars in the dark and this time he prayed no one joined him.

The cell was only beginning of Mairon ' s torture, each time Bilbo slipped into slumber he was greeted by terrible visions. He saw his friends tortured and burning, dying in the most painful ways imaginable over and over and over again. Each time he would rush to help them and each time he would be a second too late, forced to hold them in his arms while their last breath left their lungs. It was Throin's death the hurt the worst followed by Dis, Kili, and Fili and it was theirs that came most frequently.

Relentlessly Mairon pressed him, pushed him, ordered him to make his choice and stay and slowly Bilbo's mind  began to crumble. He would take whippings and beatings everyday for the rest of his life over this mental torture. His nightmares followed him viciously into his waking hours until he saw them with his eyes open and nothing he did would make them stop. His spirit crumbled, chipped away by his pain and grief a little more each day until he was no more than a shell that housed his broken soul. 

One day Mairon came to him and offered him peace. He would stop the visions, he would erase the pain and heartache, he would erase everything. He would wipe Bilbo's mind clean, clean as it was the day he woke in the meadow if the hobbit would choose to stay. They could live out their days in quite friendship as they had before Thranduil's voice appeared on the wind. Bilbo would be free, free of all the regret he felt for betraying Thorin, free of his broken heart knowing his only love cast him aside, he would be free to live out his days in an ignorant bliss and all it would cost him was a choice.

Bilbo could taste the freedom Mairon offered him and it felt sweet on his tongue. What was he really giving up if he chose to stay here, it wasn't if he had anything to go back to. He had Bag End, empty lonely Bag End. He had no one waiting for his return, no one to hold him at night when his nightmares became too real, no one to love him, no one to care about him at all so why was he fighting the reprieve Mairon offered? He could stay here and be at peace, it was true there would be no love but he wouldn't even remember what it felt like to have your heart beat for another he wouldn't be missing anything. 

Bilbo opened his mouth to answer, to agree to Mairon's terms when his chest filled with so much warmth he feared he had caught fire.

"You are stronger than any being I have ever known," a soft broken voice whispered right in his ear and Bilbo swallowed a gasp.

_Thorin!_

That was Thorin's voice and Bilbo had never heard anything more beautiful in his entire life. 

" I need you to fight now, one more miracle _amrâl’im’ê._ " Throin's voice sounded strong and full in Bilbo's ear filling him with a strength he had never felt before. 

Bilbo took a deep breath surround himself in the feeling of love and hope that was rising in him when he felt the light press of what could have been nothing other than lips, _Thorin's lips_ , press softly against his temple and he knew what he must do.

 "No." he answered strongly his voice full of a fire he had no name for.

"What did you say?" Mairon hissed dangerously.

"No." Bilbo said louder rising to his feet, boldly meeting Mairon's any gaze, "I will never let you take him from me again." 

"You are a fool Bilbo Baggins I offer you a life free of all pain and still you choose heartache." Mairon spat pacing frantically back and forth in front of Bilbo's cell.

"You would rather Iive out your days tortured by your memories than happy and content with out them. These visions will only get worse I will make you watch his death a thousand times!" he shouted kicking a small stone hard against the stone wall shattering it into pieces.

Bilbo straightened his back and narrowed his gaze on the man he had once called friend but had come to fesr .

"My answer stays the same, I will not let him be taken from me again." Bilbo vowed stepping closer to the unbreakable bars that held him caged.

"If I have to suffer a thousand lives of pain and heartbreak they will be worth it because every ounce of pain i feel will remind me that I love him with everything I am."

"He never loved you, he hates you even now, you betrayed him and he cast you away without without a second thought!" Mairon screamed throwing his hands out wildly before him.

A bright light began to glow around Bilbo filling him with warmth, friendship, hope, love and saftey. His body hummed with energy as Thranduil's voice once again sounded on the wind stronger than ever before.

"No!" Mairon screamed engulfing himself in a bright red glow that danced around him like a flame. 

Bilbo felt the power rolling off of Mairon as his glow turned to flame like tendrils that slithered forward through the bars reaching for the hobbit. Bilbo scuttled backwards trying to avoid the flame but he was trapped, his back pressed against the cold biting stone. The flames wrapped around his arms and ankles burning his skin. Bilbo screamed, a raw gut churning scream as he struggled to free himself from Mairon ' s grasp as the light around him brightened.

"I will not let them have you!" Mairon screeched pushing more power into his flame like chains causing Bilbo to scream out again as he trashed against their hold.

Thranduil's voice grew echoing around the stone chamber his light burrowing under Bilbo's skin shinning out through him. Bilbo's body was burning, boiling him the inside as flames burned him from the outside.

"Choose!" Mairon screamed slamming his arms towards the ground causing the chain of flames to send Bilbo crashing to the ground in a broken heap as another scream ripped from his throat. 

The pain became unbearable as Bilbo screamed again and again. His arms and legs were covered in flames now so hot he could feel the skin melting off of his bones as the light pulsing inside of him boiled the blood in his veins.

"Choose!" Mairon screamed again dragging Bilbo across the stone cell until his face smashed against the metal bars.

Bilbo bit down on his tongue hard, so hard he was afraid he had bit it off only to clamp down harder hoping to cut the screams off in his throat. He would not let Mairon win, he would not let him hear his cries of pain anymore. He was not a weak willed hobbit afraid to walk out his own door, he was Bilbo Baggins of Bag End burglar to The Company of Thorin Oakenshield. He faced trolls, orcs, dragons, and his own worst nightmare and if he was going to die he was going to do it on his terms.

He realized now, his mind flooded with pain, that even if Throin had never loved him, even if the dwarf king hated him, the love he felt for him was still worth everything because love is not selfish. It is not for the one who gives their heart away, it's for the one they give their heart to. Thorin may not have loved Bilbo but Bilbo loved him and his every breath was spent ensuring his dwarf's saftey, his dwarf 's happiness and that was the point. Real love meant that no matter what, no matter the pain, no matter the cost you would always put that person and their needs first. 

So in the end, as Bilbo lay drowning in flame and light he thought of Thorin the dwarf who had managed to steal the heart of a burglar and hoped he was happy, hoped that his life would bring him everything that he had wanted and wished for, and hoped that one day he would look back on the time they had spent together and remember Bilbo with a smile on his beautiful face.

"Choose!" Mairon demanded with an evilness Bilbo had yet to hear and he knew he only had moments before the flame or light claimed him, which one he was still unsure.

Closing his eyes he pictured Thorin standing tall and proud with a crown of gold on his head as he addressed his people every inch the king Bilbo knew he could be and made his choice, the choice he would always make no matter the cost, no matter the pain, no matter the out come.

 **"I choose Thorin Oakenshield!** " he screamed with every ounce of fight he had left in him, his heart bursting as the words left his lips as the light inside his body consumed him whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _amrâl’im’ê_ \--- my love
> 
>  
> 
> Hopefully you all enjoyed that chapter and as always please feel free to leave any questions or comments below. I'd also be curious to know if any of you have an theories regarding Marion because I can promise you that we haven't seen the last of him yet.
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time,  
> Christina


	6. Awake At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo finally wakes from his slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is going to be a long intro but please humor me for a moment or two.  
> First, I would like to apologize for this update being late but my step father was admitted to the hospital and I had to go home home to help my mom and brother. During that time writing was put on the back burner. I had to force myself to get this chapter done so again I apologize if it isn't as good as some of the other ones.  
> Second, I have said before that this story was directly influenced by Blood Bonds by ForTheJoy on this site. Recently the author of that story informed me that they were unhappy with how similar our stories were and felt that I should make sure that everyone understands that I got this idea directly from that story. The last thing I want to do Is upset or offend anyone so I have linked that story below. Please take some time to read ForTheJoy's story it is unfinished but is definitely worth your time. The first chapter of both of our stories are similar but after that I think they go in completely different directions so I will be going back this week to tweak the first chapter and hopefully that will fix some of that problem.  
> Finally, thank you all again for the comments, bookmarks, and kudos. The amount of interest and support for this story has been overwhelming especially since this is only my second attempt at writing on this site. Each comment really means so much and helped me make the time to write when normally I would have pushed it aside due to family issues.

Dis sat quietly in her usual spot at the head of Bilbo's bed, her fingers running slowly through his soft curls. It was early, an hour or two before dawn and the arrival of Thranduil and Bard the Bow Man. King Bard, she reminded herself. She had become so used to calling the man by the name Bilbo used it was easy to forget that he was the newly appointed King of Dale. It had been three days since the elf king and his son used their elven magic to heal Bilbo and everyday since Thranduil and Bard would arrive just as the sun's first rays shined on the moutain. Thranduil would spend the day hovering over the hobbit, acting as a physical barrier between him and the other dwarves as his son loitered on the edges of the room only coming forward to assess the hobbit every few hours. Bard was slightly more civil exchanging pleasantries upon his entrance and departure though his face still held a look of mistrust, suspision, and dare she say disappointment. Under any other circumstances Dis would have been personally offended by their behavior but in this instance she found herself mirroring their actions.

After Thranduil's reassurance that Bilbo would recover the entire company pleaded with Dis to amend the rules regarding visitation to Bilbo's chamber, none of the dwarves wanted to miss the moment Bilbo finally opened his eyes. She agreeded under the condition that when Bilbo woke they would remain quietly in the background until she, Bilbo, or Thranduil said otherwise. If Dis took a small amount of pleasure in their shocked faces as they were told that they would need the permission of an elf who could really blame her? 

Dis considered herself intelligent and as an intelligent dwarf she realized that no matter how much she wished otherwise it was impossible for her to stay by Bilbo's side every minute of the day. So she would wait until the elf king arrived so she could slip from the healing chamber long enough to freshen up and change her clothes; content in the knowledge that Thranduil would be standing guard. Though Dis held no friendship for the elf she could not deny the obvious bond he seemed to share with Bilbo and would always be grateful to him for saving her beloved freind. She was relieved to find an unspoken ally in her quest to insure Bilbo's happiness and Mahal knew she needed all the help she could get.

Yesterday, after examining Bilbo for the fifth time, Thranduil informed the assembled group that he believed Bilbo would wake sometime the following day. In no subtle terms he informed them all that any physical or emotional distress would be detrimental to Bilbo's recovery. Though his threat remained unsaid his icy glare and hard tone left no room for misinterpretation, upset or overwhelm Bilbo Baggins at your own risk. 

Dis let her eyes wander around the room. Her son's were slumped against the wall of the chamber near the door to the anti chamber shoulder to shoulder. Fili was whispering quietly to his brother as Kili fought to keep himself awake his head dipping forward every few seconds. Dori, Ori, Oin, and Gloin kept vigil at one of the small tables on the far right side of the room. The three older dwarves spoke softly amongst themselves, of what Dis couldn't be sure, while Ori had his nose buried deep into a book. Dwalin was as usual not far from the young scribe standing stiffly against the wall looking lost in his own head while his brother sat on a stool next to Bifur. The Ur brothers were huddled together at the last remaining table on the left side of the room the usually cheerful dwarves were oddly silent. Bofur kept his hands busy by whittling away at a large block of wood. 

Her eyes scanned the room searching for the slumped form of her brother. Thorin looked aweful. His hair was tangled giving him a wild desperate look. The dark circles and haunted look in his eyes only added to his disheveled appearance. Two nights ago Kili had confessed to his mother Thorin's confirmation that Bilbo was his one and Dis wasn't sure if that fact made this situation better or worse. Her heart went out to her brother she knew what it felt like to loose her one and felt the sting of that pain everyday. It was true that Bilbo was alive unlike her late husband but that didn't mean he would ever forgive Thorin for his horrible actions towards the hobbit. Bilbo's anger would be justified and Dis would support him in whatever decision he made regarding not only Thorin, but the rest of the company. However, that didn't mean that her heart wouldn't break at her brother's pain. 

Dis tore her gaze away from the sight of her broken brother, letting the steady rise and fall of Bilbo chest lull her into a state of calm. Her thoughts drifted, replaying the times Bilbo had let himself speak of Thorin and started to hum a hobbit song Bilbo had taught her during their capture.

_"May the spirits protect you, trouble neglect you, and Yavanna accept you when it's time to go home."_ she sang her voice low carrying strongly around the quiet chamber.

_"May you always have plenty, your glass never empty, and know in your belly you're never alone."_ Dis placed a small kiss to Bilbo's temple before continuing on remembering the silly way Bilbo had patted his stomach at those words as he sang.

_"May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having, with every year passing they mean more than gold."_  

The rest of the company began to stir as Dis sang listening intently to the words as they drifted to their ears. The lyrics touching a raw wound as they all felt the pain of realizing the message in the song much too late.

_"May you win but stay humble, smile more than grumble, and know when you stumble you're never alone."_ Dis's voice drifted over the notes smootly ringing loud and clear as if bounced off of the stone.

_"Never alone, Never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Where ever you fly, this isn't goodbye, my love will follow you, stay with you, baby you're never alone."_

Dis ignored the stinging of tears that began to pool at the edge of her eyes as she sang. She had been touched by the lyrics when she had first heard the song but now she fully understood the message and poured her whole heart into every word she sang.

_"Well I have to be honest as much as I wanted, I'm not gonna promise the cold wind won't blow, but when hard times have found you, and your fears surround you, wrap my arms around you, you're never alone."_  

Dis hoped that Bilbo could hear as he slept letting her voice wrap around him in a blanket of love and security. He had been her rock, her beam of light and hope during the dark months of their capture and could only pray that somehow he could hear her and gain strength from her now as she had from him.

_"Never alone, never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown, where ever you fly this isn't goodbye, my love will follow you, stay with you, baby you're never alone."_  

Dis's voice cracked and her throat tightened forcing her to stop the song before it's end. She cupped the side of Bilbo's head with her left hand as she continued brushing back his curls with her right, watching her tears fall softly on the bed. She trusted the elf's words when he said Bilbo would wake but she couldn't shake the fear that the hobbit might silently slip away as he slept. The songs words echoed in her ears and she prayed that Bilbo wouldn't fly away somewhere she could not follow. 

"Am I dead then?" asked a scratchy voice whispered as a warm calloused hand closed around her own.

Dis's heart stopped at the touch, her eyes snapping open in shock, praying she hadn't drifted off to sleep and into a dream. The room became deathly quiet no one daring to draw a breath. Fourteen sets of eyes locked on the form of Bilbo Baggins with so much intensity Dis felt the temperature in the room rise. A small squeeze to her hand snapped Dis out of her daze and she threw herself down onto Bilbo pulling him tight against her.

"No you're not dead. Thank Mahal you're not dead." she choked around the mountain size lump in her throat. 

"Well that's a relief." Bilbo responded his eyes still firmly shut and his voice hoarse from lack of use.

Dis let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and sob clutching Bilbo tighter, reassuring herself that this was in fact real. After a few moments she forced herself release her grip on her friend just long enough to reposition him so his shoulder blades were resting on her thighs as she reached for the cup of water waiting on the stool next to his bed.

"Here drink this." she ordered softly, pressing the edge of the cup to Bilbo's lips.

Bilbo drank deeply, emptying the cup in three large swallows before laying his head back against Dis's legs with a pleased sigh. Dis placed the cup back on the stool quickly her emotions running on over drive. Bilbo kept his eyes closed as Dis moved her fingers from his curls to his face softly tracing the line of his nose and smoothing the wrinkles on his brow. Bilbo hummed his contentment turning his face into her open palm as her other hand traced his features soothingly. Dis needed this contact almost as much and if not more than Bilbo at this moment. She had spent far too many nights during their capture doing exactly what she was now; only then Bilbo's skin had been bruised and bloody. It was one of the few things that would relax Bilbo and one of the only things that had made her feel useful in those terrible months. 

"You scared me," Dis whispered quietly her voice thick with tears, happy tears for the first time in far too long. "I was so afraid _gamz mudtû._ "

"Don't ever do that to me again." she ordered sounding more frantic than she had originally intended.

Bilbo lifted his arms up off the bed clasping onto Dis's forearms as if they were an anchor. His fingers dug softly into her skin and she squeezed his shoulders back in response. Tears fell freely from her face as relief filled her body making her feel light and somewhat dazed in the best way possible.

"How are you feeling?" She questioned quietly, afraid that if she spoke to loudly she would wake up to find she had in fact dreampt all of this.

"Fit as a fiddle." Bilbo mumbled his voice muffled by her gown.

"We'll see about that. Thranduil will be here any minute and I'm sure he won't be satisfied until he can confirm that himself." Dis smiled.

"So he found me then?" Bilbo asked.

"He found you." Dis answered with a small smile, "Just in time too." She finished softly her mind racing back the the terrifying moments before Thranduil had swooped into the healing chamber, Bilbo shaking and gasping for breath as his lips turned blue.

"Was anyone hurt? What happened to Mairon?" Bilbo asked warily.

"Mairon?" Dis answered confused, she'd never heard Bilbo mention that name before. Was it one of their captors?

"Mairon, the man, wizard, actually I'm not sure exactly what he was." Bilbo rambled his shoulders tensing as he feared the worst. 

"He's who I've been with this whole time." Bilbo continued assuming Dis hadn't been filled in on the events since his disappearance, he couldn't imagine Thranduil sharing much information with dwarves.

"Bilbo what are you talking about?" Dis questioned becoming more confused by the second.

Bilbo sighed rolling onto his back pulling back so his mouth wasn't snuggled into Dis's dress assuming she may have had having trouble hearing him.

"Amon Lanc." Bilbo stated evenly, "That's where Thranduil found me."

"Bilbo I have no idea what you're talking about, I've never heard of Amon Lanc or this Mairon. You've been unconscious for a little over a week." she explained hastily becoming increasingly worried for her friend. Had the his injuries somehow managed to effect his memory. It wasn't unheard of her a dwarf to wake up after a traumatic injury only to have forgotten the entire thing. 

Bilbo's nose scrunched and his mouth twisted in a confused frown at her words.

"You're in Erebor Bilbo, you've been in Erebor since we escaped. Thranduil found you here in the mountain and he and his son healed you." Dis added quickly hoping the facts would shake whatever other reality Bilbo had come to believe from his mind.

"Erebor!" Bilbo squeaked his eyes shooting open in surprise.

Dis only had a moment to appreciate their green depths before Bilbo was scrambling into a sitting position.

"Erebor! What am I doing in Erebor? I can't be here!" he muttered frantically rising to his feet, dodging Dis's grasp as she tired to pull him back onto the bed.

"I have to get out of here. Dis you have to help me get out of here before Tho- before your brother finds out I'm here!" he half yelled spinning quickly to send her a desperate look that caused Dis's stomach to clench.

"Bilbo calm down, come back to bed." she spoke low rising to her own feet.

"Back to bed are you crazy?" he hissed his eyes darting back and forth at the space before him. "If your brother finds me here he will have me killed and I have not lived through all of that hell to die like that!" He panicked throwing his arms wildly in front of him.

Dis shot a look over Bilbo's shoulder to where the company had gathered together when he had first spoke. Throin looked as if he'd been stabbed in the chest, his face pale and hallow as he took on step forward. Dis shook her head sharply once as her brother's movement halting him in place. Bilbo was frightened and obviously confused the last thing he needed was to see Throin. 

Dis stepped forward slowly as one would if they were approaching a frightened animal holding her arms out in a way that wouldn't overwhelm her terrified friend.

"I'm going to need you to calm down _gamz mudtû_ you've just woken up." she spoke in her most mothering voice.

"Dis you don't understand!" Bilbo whinned digging his palms into his eyes as he shook his head rapidly back and forth. "I-I need to get out of here before....I-I can't Dis. After everything I just can't." he sobbed folding in on his elf where he stood his shoulders arching inward making him appear much smaller than he was.

Dis stepped forward immediatly with her arms stretched out, eager to pull Bilbo back into her embrace but he heard her movements and stumbled away from her. 

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked in a way that had Dis's heart sinking into her stomach, he sounded so...broken.

"You were injured I just wanted to keep you safe." she answered back honestly her fingers fidgeting uselessly at her sides.

Bilbo let out a sharp laugh cold as steel and Dis started in surprise. It was a frigid sound, cold as a winter storm and so unlike her warm hearted friend.

"Safe in Erebor?" he shot back his words thick with an incredulous accusation.

Blibo's mind raced as his already mangled heart cracked rising open wounds that he had thought had scabbed over. 'I choose Thorin Oakenshield' he had shouted at Mairon. He had chosen Thorin but that didn't mean Thorin would ever choose him. Now he was here, in his loves kingdom, knowing he was unwanted, knowing he was hated and his friend wanted him to go back to bed as if his very life wasn't on the line.

_**If you ever return I will kill you myself.** _

Thorin's words echoed loudly in his mind feeding his grief and fear. He could not stay here. He spun quickly his eyes wide as he looked for a point of exit only to freeze mid turn as he caught sight of the one being he had never thought he would see again.

Bilbo blinked rapidly closing his eyes tight and shaking his head sharply but the image before him did not change. There stood Thorin Oakenshield, his heart, his life, his love and he looked absolutely awful yet more beautiful than Bilbo could have ever imagined. His brain cataloged the fact that we're were numerous bodies huddled behind the king but he only had eyes for Thorin. His breath left his lungs in a violent rush, his mouth falling open in a way that would have been amusing in any other situation. 

Bilbo couldn't hear anything over the blood roaring in his ears as his eyes drank in every detail of Thorin. _By Yavanna he was beautiful._ It'd been too long since he'd seen the dwarf king and Bilbo had to lock his knees to keep himself upright against the wave of emotions that threatened to send him crashing to the ground. In those final moments in Mairon's dungeon Bilbo had been filled with an intense feeling of love and devotion and now with Thorin standing before him they all came rushing back tenfold. He couldn't stop the light flutters in his stomach anymore than he could stop the tidal wave of warmth that filled his chest. Bilbo fought back a sob as his eye met the icy blue of Thorin's gaze. Bilbo was unable to decipher the wide range of emotions that flickered over the dwarf king's face aside from the deep look of grief and hurt that stayed just under the surface. Bilbo's hands clenched as he fought the urge to surge forward and wrap Thorin tightly in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to smooth away the tight line of the dwarf's jaw and remove the haunted shadows from his eyes. Using all of his limited will power he stayed firmly in place wondering what could of possibly made his strong dwarf look so absolutely wrecked.

_Me._

That single thought hit him like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over his head. He was the obvious answer to the riddle of Thorin's hurt. The crack in his heart widened to the point where Bilbo's chest physically hurt as if he had been stabbed. He saw Throin's hand clench and mimicked the motion in his own limbs his body buzzing with nervous energy. 

Bilbo felt a firm hand wrap around his shoulder and he couldn't help the slight jump he made at the contact. Turning his head sharply he ripped his gaze away from Thorin to find it locked on Thorin's sister who looked extremely concerned. Bilbo only managed to look a Dis for a moment before he found himself once again starring again Throin who looked angry.

_Oh no._

Bilbo quickly moved his body to stand directly in front of Dis. Thorin must have just found out that Dis had been hiding him here in the mountain to recover. He had told Dis about his banishment, he told her of Thorin's threat but it seemed she hadn't truely believed him. Now she was in just as much danger as Bilbo because she had tried to help him. Why couldn't she and Thranduil just let him rot in that damn dungeon? Didn't she know that if anything happened to her it would kill Bilbo faster than any blade. No. He would not let that happen. He searched Thorin's eyes and saw no sign of the gold sickness there but his eyes had been clear that terrible day Thorin banished him. Was it possible that the gold sickness had taken him over so fully that it was now impossible to differentiate one from the other? The idea made Bilbo's stomach churn violently and he swallowed hard to fight the bile back down his burning throat. Thorin Oakenshield would never harm his sister but Thorin King of Erebor under the influence of the Arkenstone was liable to do anything.

"Your majesty I know that I'm not supposed to be here." Bilbo started lowering his head to look at the floor, the title tasting bitter on his tongue.

"You have to know that I would have never of come back to the mountain on my own." he added quickly his eyes snapping up at the sound of a broken cry.

He was more than surprised to see the entire company standing behind Thorin. Had they been there the entire time? His eyes took in each of their faces and each and every one of them looked as if they were about to be sick. Bilbo felt his resolve waver under the intense disappointment  he felt at their presence. He had known Thorin despised him but he had hoped some of the company would still consider him a friend even after the banishment but it seemed he had been wrong. Here they all stood behind their king in a united front to see the sentencing of the worthless hobbit. 

Anger bubbled in Bilbo's veins at the thought. Yes he stole that damned stone but he had done it for them. To save their sorry necks when they could see nothing besides the glitz and glitter of their treasure hoard. Did he really mean nothing to them? Did all those times he tried his best, all those times he'd managed to make himself useful on the journey like breaking them out of Thranduil's prison become outweighed by a stupid rock? Fine. So be it but Bilbo would be damned if he let them take Dis down with him. Maybe this was how it was always supposed to end. If Gandalf wouldn't have stepped in Throin would have killed him that day on the battlements; maybe it was his fate to die by the hands of the one being he loved more than anything else. 

Just as he had at Amon Lanc Bilbo stood tall, pulling his shoulders back, and raising his chin in a final act of strength. If this was to be the end he would meet it on his own terms. For once he would not be a coward, he would meet his fate with his head held high. There would be no tears shed or pleas spoken, he was a Baggins of Bag End and by Yavanna ' s name he would die with the little bit of dignity he had left.

"I know the punishment for my return Throin King Under the Mountain, but your sister did not." Bilbo began his voice stronger and harder than before. He let the bitterness he'd been holding on to slip into every syllable he spoke to keep the hurt buried down deep. He was lying, Dis had known of her brother's words but he would tell a thousand lies of it meant she would be safe. 

"Bilbo no, you don't understand-" Dis started tightening her grip but Bilbo cut off her words with his own.

"I understand the punishment for my return is death and I will gladly go with you but so help me if you hurt her Mahal himself will not be able to save you." he seethed his chest heaving with pent up adrenaline.

"No!" Thorin chocked out his face paling at Bilbo's words. "Bil - Master Baggins you have nothing to fear! No one in this mountain wishes you any harm." the king ground out his hands trembling slightly.

Bilbo barely managed to keep the look of shock off of his face pulling his lips into a thin line at the king's words. What was Thorin playing at? Surely he couldn't mean what his words implied, to him Bilbo was a traitor, a worthless halfling. He bit down hard on his tongue to keep the questions from spilling forth from his mouth refusing to let the small glimmer of hope take root in his heart. He could not let himself be disappointed again, the small thread of strength he was clinging to would fray apart and he would be reduced to a crying heap if that happened.

"You are safe here Bilbo I promise." Kili stated his voice cracking on his words as he moved himself to the front of the group.

Dis released Bilbo's shoulder and went to move around to his front but Bilbo threw his arm out halting her movements, keeping her tucked behind his back. The tension in Bilbo's shoulders mounted as he stood glaring in the direction of his once friends hurt, betrayl, and confusion running wild under his skin. He was lost. He had no idea how he even came to be here from Amon Lanc and now Kili was standing there saying Bilbo was safe. Bilbo's limbs began to shake his head spinning, racing, as he tried to piece together the puzzle before him. Hope clawed at his chest as his self preservation pushed it back down with violent desperation. It was too much. He couldn't make sense of what was up or down, what was true or false, real or imagined. Bright spots began to dance in front of his eyes and his ears began to ring. Bilbo clenched his fists his outstretched hand clamping tight around the farbic of Dis's dress as he forced himself to stay up right. Wiling his body to regain control of its self and stay awake.

Just then the chamber door slammed open with a deafening crash. Bilbo's eyes shot to the door and the furious looking elven king who was striding towards him.

_Thranduil._

Bilbo's mind slowed to a less frantic pace and the spots fled from his vision as his friend appraoched. Thranduil would know what was happening, he would make sure Dis was safe for Bilbo's sake.

"What in Ilúvatar's name is going on?" the elf king snapped his eyes burning bright with anger.

"I was to be informed the moment his eyes opened!" he shouted at the dwarves.

"Master Baggins only woke up moments ago." Balin informed the elf king wincing as the words left his mouth.

"Is that supposed to make this better?" Thranduil asked incredulously looking at the dwarves as if they were the simplest creatures in all of Middle Earth.

"I could hear his elevated heart rate half way across the mountain!" he pressed on throwing his arms towards Bilbo.

"I should have known none of you would have been capable of taking proper care of him but I had hoped you would have cared enough to do what was needed." Thranduil spat at Dis His voice full of venom.

"Thranduil!" Bilbo shouted heatedly causing the elf to  halt his rantings.

Bilbo waited until he had Thranduil's full attention before continuing.

"Yell at the others all you want but don't talk to her that way. Never her." Bilbo scolded roughly.

Thranduil's eyes softened at the hobbits words and he dipped his head once towards Dis in apology before coming back to stand fully in front of Bilbo. Bilbo was always amazed the way a small smile could change the entire elf's appearance, instead of looking cold and uncaring he transformed into a warm vulnerable soul. Bilbo found himself smiling back at his friend his moment of anger passing.

"I see you're awake." Thranduil stated.

"So it appears." Bilbo quipped back with a twinkle in his eye.

"I'm glad you finally decided to join us, you had us very worried my friend." added a second voice.

"Bard!" Bilbo cried his face splitting in a blinding smile as he flung his arms around his friend. During their stay at Mirkwood Bilbo had come to consider Bard one of his closest friends and had missed him fiercely once he regained his memories at Amon Lanc.

"It is good to see you too Bilbo." Bard laughed returning the embrace.

"Yes, yes, we have _both_ missed you but what I'd like to know is why you are out of bed." Thranduil clipped with a huff.

Before Bilbo might have thought the elf angry or annoyed by his reaction but now Bilbo understood that Thranduil was just jealous and couldn't help the small laugh that left his lips at the idea. Thranduil the great King of Mirkwood jealous because he didn't get a hug from a hobbit. Bilbo quickly remedied the situation by throwing his arms tightly around as much of the elf as he could, which thanks to their height difference happened to be his knees and thighs much to Bilbo's amusement. Thranduil unable to return the embrace settled for patting Bilbo foundly on the back.

"I missed you." Bilbo mumbled as he pulled away tilting his head up to look his friends in the eye to find them smiling widely back down at him.

"We missed you too now back in bed." Thranduil ordered pointing a thin finger towards his vacated bed.

"I'm fine." Bilbo answered waving his hand in the air. 

"Just because you're awake doesn't mean you're fine now bed." Thranduil ordered again giving Bilbo a light push in that direction.

Bilbo huffed in annoyance momentarily forgetting just where he was, being transported back to those many weeks Thranduil hovered over him during his stay at Mirkwood.

"I'm fine." Bilbo repeated in annoyance, he was a grown hobbit fully able to look after himself, thank you very much.

"Bilbo." Thranduil warned, his eyes taking on that 'I'm about to smoother you with my over protective mothering ways' look.

"Thranduil." Bilbo shot back putting his hands on his hips.

"Bed." Thranduil ordered again pointing towards the bed once more.

"No." Bilbo bit down on the inside of his cheek seriously fighting the urge to stomp his foot.

"Bilbo."

"Thranduil."

The pair eyed each other carefully each searching for a sign that the other was about to give in finding none. 

"Fine." Thranduil shrugged before reaching out and lifting Bilbo straight off of the ground.

"Hey!" Bilbo squeaked in surprise.

"So we're back to this then?" the hobbit seethed knowing better than to try and wiggle his way free.

"So it would appear." Thranduil teased mirroring Bilbo's words, he really was enjoying this too much.

"Stop smirking Bard!" Bilbo cried over Thranduil's shoulder.

"You can't even see me!" Bard called back with a laugh.

"I can feel you smirking from here, you always smirk when this happens." Bilbo shot back darkly.

"It's not my fault it's so funny." Bard laughed again earning a growl from Bilbo as Thranduil plopped him gently down on the bed.

Bilbo went to rise back to his feet but Thranduil was ready and placed a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him in place. Bilbo grumbled crossing his arms sharply across his chest mentally cursing the strength of elves.

"Honestly Thranduil, must you make a habit of putting me to bed like a child!"

"If you insist on acting like a child then yes." Thranduil answered evenly as he began to check over Bilbo.

"I am not a child!" Bilbo cried leaning his body away from the elf. "I'm perfectly able to take care of myself you know."

Thranduil barked out a laugh at his friends words as he reached out to lift Bilbo's shirt, intending to check the almost healed wounds only to have Bilbo slap his hands away.

"For someone with a natural ability of taking care of others you are utterly useless when it comes to taking care of yourself. Now sit still!" Thranduil barked annoyed at himself for letting his amusement filter into to his words.

"I'm not one of your subjects that you can order around." Bilbo spat leaning back further to the point where he may as well have been laying down.

"You're right you're not one of my subjects, you're my friend and as you're friend I want to make sure that you're healing properly." Thranduil answered looking Bilbo directly in the eye.

Reluctantly Bilbo pulled himself up into a sitting position, how could he argue with such kind and sincere words? That single statement was practically a oath of undying friendship from Thranduil who was happy to exchange witty banter over sentimental statements.

"Manipulative Elf." Bilbo muttered with a small smile.

"Stubborn Hobbit." Thranduil quipped back fondly resuming his examination.

After a few minutes of poking a prodding Thranduil agreed that Bilbo did in fact seem fine. More than fine actually, the elf admitted to being surprised at just how healthy Bilbo appeared.

"Told you." Bilbo teased.

"You were tortured and minutes from death when I found you excuse me for being concerned." The elf drawled dryly but Bilbo heard the real worry in his words.

With that statement a light bulb went off in Bilbo's head.

"Speaking of that, what happened when you found me? What happened to Mairon?" Bilbo asked.

Mairon had changed so drasticly by the end of Bilbo's stay but in the beginning he had been a great friend and support to Bilbo and even now Bilbo found himself concerned for him. 

"Where did you hear that name?" Thranduil asked his eyes growing wide and his face and shoulders tensing at Bilbo's question.

Bilbo tilted his head to the side and regarded his friend in curiosity. Had Mairon fled before Thranduil found him?

"I was with him at Amon Lanc." Bilbo explained becoming increasingly confused at Thranduil's expression.

"That's where you found me right? In the dungeons?" Bilbo prompted.

Thranduil's face became serious, as serious as the night he bartered for peace with the Arkenstone chilling Bilbo's blood. He didnt know what was going on but something had Thranduil worried and that worried Bilbo.

"How do you know of Amon Lanc?" Thranduil asked his eyes searching Bilbo's.

Bilbo swallowed once nervously, "I was there." 

"I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I need you to answer them all honestly, do you understand?" Thranduil asked his voice gentle but Bilbo heard the order underneath.

The hobbit nodded his head once in agreement, he would never lie to Thranduil he trusted his friend fully.

"How did you come to find yourself at Amon Lanc?"

"I woke up in the meadow outside of the fortress."

"A meadow, not a forest?" 

"No a meadow, it was very beautiful, the most beautiful meadow I'd ever seen." Bilbo answered and saw Thranduil's shoulders relax.

"You're sure?" Thranduil pressed eagerly.

"It was until the end." Bilbo added his mind pulling up the veiw from his window the day before he was taken to the dungeons. "It changed when he changed. Twisted trees and giant thorn bushes tangled together, growing larger and sharper the more angry he became." Bilbo explained grimacing at the memory.

"Is that what happened? Did his anger cause the land to change?" Bilbo questioned already suspecting the answer.

"You met someone there, in the fortress." Thranduil stated ignoring Bilbo's question.

"I did." Bilbo answered even though Thranduil hadn't really asked.

"Who?"

"Mairon." Bilbo replied and Thranduil's face hardened at the mention of the name.

"What did he look like?

"He was an old man when I first arrived, grizzled grey and white but after a few months his appearance changed. Where he was old he became young and free." Bilbo couldn't help the fond smile that broke across his face remebering the way Mairon had suddenly changed his appearance before his eyes.

"How long did you stay at Amon Lanc?" 

Bilbo turned his head and scrunched his face as he thought back to his book and tally. "At least ten months, I kept track in the book he gave but I don't know how long I was there after he took me to the dungeons. Everything blurred together after the nightmares started." his voice sounding weaker than he had tried for.

Thranduil paled at Bilbo'so words as he sought to make sense of everything his young friend was telling him. 

" _Manen lerta-ne no?_ " Legoland breathed from his place just behind his father.

" _Uin-ista..._ " Thranduil started his voice trailing off as he mentally ran over the possibilities.

" _In lhîw, in baugla ne ane-nahta hon, ne ane-in Dûr Heru?_ " Legolas pressed his face turning unreadable and hard.

" _Ruc-tambë_ ."

" _E kwi nu-deid me let._ " Legolas warned throwing a cautious glance at Bilbo.

" _Lala!_ " Thranduil spat incredulously stepping closer to his friend.

" _In Dûr Heru ië coru, e kwi iuith Bilbo sui carma._ " the elf prince stated darkly and Thranduil forced himself to ignore the truth in that statement. They didn't have anywhere near enough information to be worrying over Sauron's intentions. Thranduil wasn't even sure they were dealing with the Dark Lord or a very vivid fever dream, though how Bilbao could have dreamt information forgotten long ago he had yet to explain.

"What Dark Lord and why would he want to use me as a weapon?" Bilbao asked quickly shocking everyone in the room.

"You speak the language of the fair folk?" Dis asked speaking for the first time since Thranduil entered the chamber.

"Marion taught me." Bilbao offered embarrassed, "It helped pass the time." he finished by way of explanation.

"What else did The Deceiver teach you?" Legolas  pressed stepping forward towards Bilbo.

"Enough Legolas!" Thranduil shouted putting his body between his son and his friend.

"We don't have nearly enough information for you to be making these kind of accusations." he scolded, Legolas visibly deflated at his father's words sending Bilbo an apologetic glance.

"Enough information about what? Thranduil you're starting to scare me what are you talking about?" Bilbo asked his voice cracking as he forced the words past his dry throat. Maybe he wasn't as fine as he originally thought.

Thranduil turned to his friend his face portraying a level of calm he didn't truly feel, but he hoped Bilbo wouldn't be able to see through it.

"It's nothing for you to worry over now my friend, I will send for Gandalf immediately and when he arrives we can discuss this and my theories in length." Thranduil patted Bilblo's leg in a calming manner before turning to Thorin.

"I will need use of one of your ravens if you don't mind. I could send a rider for the wizard but the sooner he gets here the better." 

"If you're in need of a wizard I would be happy to offer my sevices." came a familiar voice from the door way.

"Gandalf!" Bilbo cried happily pushing to rise to his feet sinking back down in the bed with a huff as both Dis and Thranduil reached to stop his movements.

"Bilbo Baggins, I have said this before but it barrs repeating, I have never been so happy to see someone in my whole life." he beamed winding his way through the group of dwarves without so much of a nod in their direction.

"I'm very glad to see you too." Bilbo laughed with a blinding smile.

"It appears you have arrived right on time Master Gandalf, it's a pleasure to see you again." Bard greeted holding out his hand which Gandalf eagerly shook.

"Funny thing about wizards and their timing, they always seem to pop in at just the right moment." Bilbao chuckled.

Ganfalf's face fell at the comment and he turned his eyes to his friend. Bilbo was shocked at the sadness in the wizard's gaze. They were full of sadness, wisdom, and a great weight. Gandalf maybe powerful but Bilbo would never wish to carry the burdens of his old friend, he wasn't sure he would be strong enough for it.

"If that were true you would not be sitting here right now. I am so sorry my friend, so sorry I was not there when you needed me."

Bilbo shook his head at the wizard's words, guilt was never an easy emotion even more so when it was undeserved. 

"Don't do that." Bilbo pleaded, "Don't blame yourself because I don't. I never have and I never will." he promised.

"You forgive much to easily my friend." 

Bilbo raised his chin and locked his eyes on Gandalf's in determination.

"Only a fool would forgive where he should not and I maybe many things but a fool is not one of them." Bilbo huffed, "I grant forgiveness where it is deserved so unless you wish to call me a fool accept it and move on." he challenged.

Gandalf couldn't help the rumbling laugh that left his chest at Bilblo's words. Bilbo Baggins was an extraordinary soul. Gandalf had lived a long life and seen many things in that time but there would never be another Bilbo Baggins.

"I'm glad to see your fire hasn't diminished since we parted." the wizard chuckled happily he had feared to find Bilbo broken and cold.

"I think it's time for you to rest now my friend, you don't want to push yourself too hard." Thranduil spoke to Bilbo.

"No, I have questions I want answered and you said Gandalf could answer some of them." he whined swallowing the large yawn that threatened to make itself known.

"I will be here when you wake my friend get your rest." Gandalf comforted with a smile.

Bilbo reluctantly laid back down on the bed falling asleep with in minutes much to Thranduil's relief. 

"We need to speak." he informed Gandalf.

"Do we?" Gandalf asked raising his brow.

"Yes we do." Thranduil hissed his patience wearing thin. "I fear our friend has suffered much worse than we ever expected by the hands of one we thought long gone." the elf king finished with a knowing look.

"You can't mean..."

"I can't say for certain but something happened to our hobbit friend and I intend to find out exactly what." 

"We will speak to him when he wakes." Gandalf answered dread filling his stomach.

"For now we will let him rest." he finished accepting the seat Dori had placed beside Bilbo's bed.

The room fell into to silence. Gandalf could see the unasked questions swimming in the dwarves minds matching his own but he, like them, remained quiet not wishing to disturb their friend. He would wait before gaining his answers hoping that they would be nothing out of the ordinary but expecting the worst. He dug around in his robe until his hand closed around his long pipe. Releasing it from the folds of fabric he lit the pipe weed and took a long drag of Old Toby letting the scent take him back to the Shire. To a time where Bilbo was a normal respectable hobbit, to a time before a wandering wizard dragged him off on an adventure. Gandalf wondered if it would have been better to have left Bilbo alone that fateful day. His travels had changed Bilbo, but Gandalf was unsure if the change was worth all of his pain and suffering. Guilt swirled around him ad thick as the pipe smoke and he hoped Bilbo wouldn't resent him for pushing him out his door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dis sings to Bilbo is "Never Alone." By Lady Antebellum. I thought it fit Bilbo's personality and hobbit nature well.
> 
> All translations were done using http://www.elfdict.com/#return and I apologize for any and all mistakes.


	7. A/N

Apparently I'm a terrible person so let me once again to take a moment to apologize for any and every sin anyone would like to lay at my feet. I honestly meant no offense when I started my story toward the writer of Blood Bonds in anyway. I wasn't trying to steal his/her idea but use it as a spring board for something else. I have read so many stories in so many fandoms that start in the exact same way and not just from prompts. I've read stories where other authors link the story that inspired them and leave no other comment toward that work and no one says a thing. I've also read numerous stories that are so similar that besides one or two words could have been the same exact plot scene for scene. That is not what I was trying to do at all and if it came off that way again I apologize. 

When the author of the original story contacted me on a comment I left on their story stating they were unhappy I _IMMEDIATELY_ apologized and said I would not only stop writing my story but remove it completely from this site and fanfic.net where I also posted it. I said that the absolute last thing I wanted was to upset anyone on this site and stand by that statement. The author then responded back with this: 

_I haven't decided if I'll continue my fic, but I'm not going to tell you that you cannot continue yours. However, I do ask that you make clear that the premise to your fic is mine, and that you link to my fic instead of just writing the name. Also, you need to promise that you will ask permission the next time you want to use someone else's fic ideas as your own. Some authors might say yes, some might not, but it should be their choice. If they agree, give credit where it is due. If you are literally copying something from someone else, even if it's just a fic idea, it's really only polite to say as much. When you credit something as "inspiration" or "influence" instead, it really gives the impression that you got a nudge, but came up with the idea on your own. Maybe it sounds like splitting hairs, but I think it's an important distinction._

 

I felt that by linking her story and again making sure everyone understood that the idea from her would help but apparently I was wrong. I have a lot going on in my life as posted before regarding my step father, who for those of you who asked, is doing worse and I honestly don't have time for this. I've never seen another member personally attacked in the way I have been and again I will apologize for my part in this situation. None of the other stories, some of which were almost identical to another have these kind of comments swirling around about them. If we took deleted or removed every story on this site that used an idea from another author we would have to take down at least half of the stories because in some way we are all a little guilty of that. 

As far as this story goes I honestly have no idea where to go from here. I know I will finish it for myself but I don't know if it would be wise to continue it here. I will continue updating my other story as long as no one else has a problem with that one as well but after it's complete don't expect anymore work from me in any fandom. 

For the last and final time I would like to say that I had no malicious intention when I began this story. I agree that I should have asked before hand but I had just assumed due to the mass amount of similar stories that it would not be a problem as long as I linked it appropriately which was uncaring and insensitive of me. That's why I thought there was a specific spot to link works that you was for to give credit where credit where was due. I thought by apologizing and following through with what the author originally asked it would make amends but again I was wrong. The first chapter of the story does mirror Blood Bonds in many ways but after that I still feel they go in completely different directions with completely different character development arcs. For all of you that enjoyed this story thank you for all of your kind words and comments they really did mean a lot. 


	8. A/N2

I would like to take a minute and thank all of you who have supported myself and my work on this site. All of your comments, kudos, bookmarks, and encouraging words have helped me come to a decision about this story. After taking sometime and thinking about the pros and cons if I were to continue and talking about the situation with other writers, from this and other sites, as well as some of my friends and family I've decided that it would be a mistake to stop writing entirely. However, I doubt that I would be able to complete this story as is due to insecurities and fear of further fueling an already ridiculous situation. 

I am proud of my work so far on this story no matter what anyone else says. I have put my heart into forming and shaping the these characters as well as their emotions and reactions. The grief I put on the page is a snap shot into my family at the moment and a look at how different relatives, as well as myself, have been working through this difficult time. This story for me was an outlet and tool to work through my own feelings by projecting them on to the characters and their situation. Naive as it may seem a small part of me thought that if I wrote the characters a happy ending after so many hardships and loss it was possible for my family to pull together and gain one ourselves.

The part of the story where Dis clutches to Bilbo as he speaks of the Shire is my take on the moment my Mother begged my step father, as he lay in a hospital bed surround by my entire family, to continue to fight until the doctors are able to find a treatment that will work for him. Kili giving in to his anger in attempt to cover his guilt for not defending Bilbo is my younger brother and I masking our own guilt for not coming home enough to notice the signs before they got to this point.

So to give up on this story would be like giving up on my step father in a strange way and that is not an option for me. That being said I will not continue to write a story that others will say was "copied" or "plagiarized" from someone else. My step father has read everything I've ever written whether it be a history paper when I was in high school or a short story I wrote in my free time and has read every chapter of this story before it was posted on this site. I told him this story was a gift to him as it very well could be the last work of mine he will read and I will not give him something tarnished by a mistake on my part.

I have decided that instead of giving up on the story and characters I will just go back and rewrite anything that can be traced back to Blood Bonds. I still honestly believe that aside from the first chapter and the idea that Dis was held captive with Bilbo our stories are very different. The new story is being titled Calad Uin Meleth, which means Light of Love in Sindarian and was chosen by my step father. The new story will follow the plot line of Gamz Matdû to a point. Bilbo will still be captured after being banished by Throin however Dis will not be a major character in the story at all, though she may have a possible cameo towards the end. Bilbo will still be rescued and taken back to Erebor, he will still have the same relationships with all of the dwarves as well and Tranduil and Bard, and will still encounter Mairon as he slumbers. Hopefully, no one will be able to find anymore fault in the story when I'm done with the revisions.

I hope all of you will take the time to read the new story and enjoy it as much if not more than you have Gamz Matdû. Also my step father would like me to thank those of you who have inquired about his condition or sent words of comfort on his behalf. He gets very bored laying in the hospital all day and I swear he reads your comments before I do since I've logged on more than once to find comments I've never seen marked read much to my amusement. Though he didn't enjoy reading the comments left about me on the others author's work and thankfully had his lap top confiscated by my brother before he could write an over protective father's response. Apparently no matter how old I get he still thinks it's his job to defend his only daughter no matter how silly the situation. Once again I'd like to thank all of your for the support and kindness you've shown me and you patience in waiting for my decision.

Until next time,

Christina

**Author's Note:**

> Gamz Mudtû- Fierce Heart  
> Amad- Mother  
> Nadad- Brother
> 
> All Khuzdûl translations were done using the Neo-Khuzdûl Dictionary and I apologize for any mistakes!
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the start of this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will be updating this fic as well as From the Flames once a week until they are both finished; with this story probably being a little bit shorter.
> 
> Please take a minute and let me know what you think of the story so far. Unlike From the Flames I do not have the rest of this story mapped out yet and would be thrilled to hear any ideas you guys have.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Christina


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